October 2011 – a busy month of many shenanigans including a weekend away in a campervan!

Saturday 1st October 2011 - Rich & Em, having both been a bit ‘all work & no play’ lately, have mosied up to Manchester this afternoon for a night out! Morbidly though, the trip has felt a bit like a Harold Shipman murder tour so far – what with the journey to the motorway having begun by driving through the part of Nottingham where Shippers grew up, & then checking in on arrival in Manchester at a hotel in the suburb of Hyde… which is where the infamous Dr Death’s surgery was!

Sunday 2nd October 2011 - Rich & Em had an amazing night out in Manchester last night! Had an excellent curry on the ‘curry mile’, got to hold the European Cup – which a bloke randomly had in a pub – and ended the night in a club where the music was nothing but the guilty pleasure otherwise known as powerballads! Also saw an absolutely brilliant Jesus preacher shouting at passers by! Any of the Nottingham dwellers among you remember the angry old guy who used to spread the word of The Lord at the top of Lister Gate?

Monday 3rd October 2011 - Rich is not displeased about Steve McClaren’s decision to quit as Forest manager yesterday, following yet another miserable defeat for the Reds. In many ways it seems hasty for a manager to go after just ten league games in charge of a club – sadly though, it was clear in this case that it simply wasn’t working. Goodness knows who Forest will get in to do the job next – maybe it’s time to finally promote the legend that is Terry the Kitman?!

Tuesday 4th October 2011 - Rich is slightly alarmed that the mighty Forest are being linked with a potential new manager who’s actually younger than he is – namely, 31-year-old MK Dons boss Karl Robinson. Sheesh, it makes you feel depressingly old when you reach the stage in life when your team’s PLAYERS start getting youner than you – never mind the bloody MANAGER! In other news meanwhile on Forest’s search for a new manager, SkyBet, brilliantly, are actually offering odds of 100-1 on Terry the Kitman getting the job!

Wednesday 5th October 2011 - Rich has just been on a trip to an avian specialist vet with his parrot – a precautionary measure, owing to Doris having noticably lost a fair few feathers recently around her neck area. Happily, the vet concluded that it was nothing to worry about. Was actually highly amusing watching a thoroughly-unimpressed Doris having her heartbeat checked with a stethascope!

Thursday 6th October 2011 - Rich & Em have been out tonight to a gig – Noah & the Whale, who were playing at the legendary Nottingham sweatpit known as Rock City. A really good show. Popped into the Rescue Rooms next door before the gig though to check out the place’s new refurb – and disappointingly, they’ve got rid of all the shelves of cheesy LPs that you used to be allowed to sift through. A sad loss…

Friday 7th October 2011 - Rich has had a horribly stressful day at work – not least a member of his class suddenly having a massive nosebleed whilst the kids were working in the computer room… a room where there’s no access to any running water or paper towels. Teaching can often be a very unpredictable job – one thing you DON’T ever expect to find yourself doing though is whipping off your own tie & using it to stem a small river of blood from a child’s nostril..!

Saturday 8th October 2011 - Rich & the wife have just been for breakfast at the cafe in their local Morrison’s supermarket – a place that has enjoyed cult status in the Fisher household ever since the discovery that one of the blokes who works there is amusingly called Jesse Hanks (or at least that’s what it says on his name badge!) Scrambled eggs on toast taste just that little bit better when they’re brought to your table by a man with a name that suggests he possibly moonlights as a member of Garth Brooks’ backing band..!

Sunday 9th October 2011 - Rich & the wife spent their Saturday evening last night babysitting Archie – Emma’s sister’s two-and-a-bit-year-old little boy! Intriguingly, Arch seemed quite captivated by ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ on the telly. Who knows, maybe stardom awaits for the boy as the next Michael Flatley?! Talking of ‘Strictly..’, did anyone else see Robbie Savage do his turn? Hats off to the guy for managing to look an even bigger wally with a brolly than Steve McClaren..!

Monday 10th October 2011 - Rich has been poorly today – however, is currently being cheered up by a morbidly compelling new TV series raking over one of the bitterest splits in the history of pop. No, not the parting of the ways of the the Beatles or the Stone Roses – rather, that of late-90s cheese-merchants Steps! If any of you haven’t stumbled across it yet, then ‘Steps: The Reunion’ on the Sky Living channel is an excellent slice of trashy, guilty pleasure TV…

Tuesday 11th October 2011 -Rich, though still a tiny bit disappointed that his song ‘The A Team’ isn’t actually about Howling Mad Murdoch and co., is actually greatly impressed by the recently-released debut album by Ed Sheeran. The singer-songwriter actually played in Nottingham last night – would’ve liked to have gone to see him, but unfortunately continuing man flu put paid to any such plans…

Wednesday 12th October 2011 - Rich is starting to feel just about human again after three days of horrendous man flu – although these health-based woes pale in significance to those of the wife… who was rushed into hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis, after having spent the previous day constantly vomiting & experiencing excruciating tummy pains. Fortunately it turned out to NOT be appendicitis, & Em is now okay. All in all though, it’s not been one of the better weeks in the world of Fisher…

Thursday 13th October 2011 - Rich is very happy to say that his birthday has got off to an excellent start – with presents from his family including a ticket to see Rolf Harris, a surprise weekend away… and, of all things, a ukelele! A sort of bonus present too from Nottingham Forest, what with the excellent news that the club have persuaded legendary former player & manager Frank Clark to return to the club as chairman. Just the small matter now of appointing a manager & yet another new era for Forest can finally get underway in earnest…

Friday 14th October 2011 - Rich celebrated his birthday last night by having a Threesome! Hasten to add though that ‘Threesome’ was the name of one of a number of fine ales sampled during a highly enjoyable evening spent to the Nottingham Beer Festival! Big thanks by the way to everyone for your kind birthday messages yesterday…

Saturday 15th October 2011 - Rich is glum that feckless Forest lost again this afternoon – away at Coventry – but is chuffed to have had the honour earlier today of meeting John Robertson, legendary left-winger from the Reds’ all-conquering team of the late 70s. ‘Robbo’ was at the Nottingham branch of Waterstones, signing copies of his newly-released autobiography. Should be a good read…

Sunday 16th October 2011 - Rich has enjoyed this weekend muchly. Along with yesterday afternoon’s excitement of getting to meet Forest legend John Robertson, Friday night saw a flying visit up to Leeds to see a good friend star in a brilliantly funny play… while last night also involved some excellent live entertainment. Don’t really want to say any more though on here about the latter, as it’s too embarrassing!

Monday 17th October 2011 - Rich impressed his class today – or at least the boys! – by presenting them with a signed handwritten message, addressed to them, from Nottingham Forest legend John Robertson! Robbo kindly agreed to scribble a few words at the book signing he did in Nottingham on Saturday – “To Class 4A, good luck & best wishes, John Robertson.” Though in hindsight, “To Class 4A, start bloody behaving! John Robertson” might have been more appropriate..!

Tuesday 18th October 2011 - Rich is loving today! First of all, music legends the Stone Roses announce this afternoon that they are reforming for some live shows in 2012! And then, as if that wasn’t exciting enough, Forest have looked utterly rejuvinated this evening in their first game under new manager Steve Cotterill, and all being well look set to bag their first home win of the season against high-flying Middlesbrough!

Wednesday 19th October 2011 - Rich is on his way up to the sleepy suburban corner of Nottingham otherwise known as Mapperley, in order to visit his Ma & Dad. Though having said that, the place was anything but sleepy & suburban last week, having made national news headlines after police discovered a volatile substance at somebodyls house – resulting in the whole area being sealed off & the national bomb squad being called in! Hopefully all will be back to normal in Mapperley this evening..!

Thursday 20th October 2011 - Rich has just been catching up with today’s big news from Libya. Now he’s dead, hopefully the media will start referring to Gaddafi by his full name of Colin, instead of the uncomfortably informal ‘Col’! All in all though, it’s unfortunate that such a high profile death has overshadowed the sad news from Nottinghamshire’s White Post Farm, where Darren The Waving Goat also passed away this week…

Friday 21st October 2011 - Rich is a man who who has always enjoyed a random celebrity encounter – and yesterday managed to have not one but three! Over the course of the day, in three completely separate locations, managed to meet: 1) Nottingham Forest defender Wes Morgan; 2) Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi; & 3) Darts legend Bobby George! Meeting the latter was particularly amusing – not least getting to discuss his recent appearance on ‘Celebrity Come Dine With Me’!

Saturday 22nd October 2011 - Rich is very excited & already counting the days until Saturday June 30th 2012, having been successful yesterday in the mad scramble to get tickets to see the reformed Stone Roses! Why is it though that tickets always get put on sale for these sorts of things – in this case, 9.30am on a weekday morning – at a time when the majority of the population are likely to be at bloody work?

Sunday 23rd October 2011 - Rich & Em are on their way to George Best Airport in Belfast, ready to fly home after an excellent couple of days over in County Antrim visiting their great friends Zippy & Steph. Highlights have included a hurling match, the Giant’s Causeway, copious amounts of booze, an amusing prank involving some Linda McCartney sausages, & getting to nose around an artspace owned by legendary art terrorist Bill Drummond!

Monday 24th October 2011 - Rich is loving the fact that he’s off work this week for the school half-term, & has just been for an enjoyable mooch around downtown Nottingham. Went to see an exhibition of paintings by leather-faced Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood! Also went to rubberneck at the ‘Occupy Notts’ hippies who have been camped out in the middle of the city centre for the last week. Fair play to them!

Tuesday 25th October 2011 - Rich is highly amused by reports in the national press today, confirming that cheese is now the most frequently shoplifted commodity in the UK! Apparently 4% of all the cheese that gets put out on supermarket shelves ends up getting robbed – & Tesco are reportedly considering putting security tags on more expensive ones & having extra security on the dairy aisle!

Wednesday 26th October 2011 - Rich, being a teacher on his half-term break, is enjoying having a week where he doesn’t have to think too much about work – although reminders are never too far away. Indeed, you suspect the powers might be trying to tell you to get on with that huge stack of marking you’ve been avoiding when you go for a drive around Nottingham, & end up stuck in traffic behind a bus with a massive advert on the back for the very bloody school where you work..!

Thursday 27th October 2011 - Rich had some not-so-great news yesterday about his dodgy right eye. A month or so ago, it was looking like the surgery done in 2010 had succeeded in stabilising the vision – however, subsequent scans are now suggesting that that isn’t the case… and that it’s actually continuing to deteriorate. Now being referred to a different surgeon. The saga goes on..!

Friday 28th October 2011 - Rich is immensely proud to report that he has won a competition that Emma entered him into – a competition that was run in the local paper to find Nottingham’s Scruffiest Man! Went yesterday to enjoy the winner’s prize – a full style makeover, including a made-to-measure Geoff Banks suit! Amusingly, the full story with cheesy ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos is due to appear in the paper sometime in the next few weeks..!

Saturday 29th October 2011 - Rich feels a bit like he’s in a episode of Scooby Doo, what with him & Emma having embarked on yesterday on a weekend of camping down in the beautiful Cotswolds – in a hired vintage VW campervan! Top birthday present from the wife, it must be said. Staying as well on a farm that, as it turns out, is owned by a minor TV personality!

Sunday 30th October 2011 - Rich is sad that today is his & Emma’s last day of living the hippy dream in Monty the VW campervan. Been a great weekend though! Today has involved a mooch around Oxford, & an ace visit to ‘Crocodiles of the World’ – the croc zoo as featured in the recent Channel 5 series ‘Croc Man’. Even got to meet the Croc Man himself!

Monday 31st October 2011 - Rich is back at work today, the half-term break now sadly over. Just arrived at the coalface to find that a large amount of the old school building – as vacated back in July – has now been knocked down. Quite sad really. Hopefully the fox that lived on the site was smart enough to suss out what was happening and managed to leg it before the wrecking balls came in…

September 2011 – back to work after the summer holidays, and Nottingham Forest continue their woeful start to the season…

Thursday 1st September 2011 - Rich is looking forward to this evening’s instalment of a programme that’s currently his favourite thing on TV – namely, Channel 5′s ‘Croc Man’! For anyone who’s not seen it, ‘Croc Man’ is a series that follows a bloke down in Oxfordshire & his attempts to set up the UK’s first crocodile zoo. Oh, and brilliantly, it’s narrated by none other than EastEnders legend John ‘Nick Cotton’ Altman!

Friday 2nd September 2011 - Rich & Em went to one of those ‘An evening with…’ dos last night, where retired footy players trot out the war stories from their careers – with Mark Crossley in the spotlight on this occasion. Some great tales from the former Forest keeper – not least the revelation that he lamped Pierre Van Hooijdonk when he returned from his infamous three-month strike back in the late-1990s…

Saturday 3rd September 2011 - Rich is wondering what to do with himself today, what with the mighty Forest not having a game due to the ‘international break’. Quite tempted to fill the void by making a trip down to the Chesterfield Arms – a pub a couple of miles down the road, in the salubrious corner of Nottingham they called Gedling – & have a punt on their legendary weekly meat raffle!

Sunday 4th September 2011 - Rich & the wife, driven by post-summer skintness, decided to get up insanely early this morning in order to flog some of their clutter! If any of the Nottingham-dwellers among you fancy coming to have a look at the Fisher Emporium of Shite, then head down to Calverton car boot sale! Unbelievably, ‘Phil Collins: The Singles Collection’ on VHS has as of yet failed to sell..!

Monday 5th September 2011 - Rich heads back to work today – the school summer holidays now officially over. At Nottingham Academy, the kids don’t actually start back until next Monday – this week though, there is the small matter of officially moving in to a brand new school building… and transforming it from the blank canvass it is at the moment into a veritable temple of learning!

Tuesday 6th September 2011 - Rich’s boss gave a sort of motivational speech at work today, in which she described all her staff as ‘The A Team’! Needless to say, a massive compliment! Today, still wanted by the Government, the Nottingham Academy primary staff survive as soldiers of education. If you have a problem, & if no-one else can help, & if you can find them… maybe YOU can hire The A Team!

Wednesday 7th September 2011 - Rich watched the live telly coverage last night of the England footy team’s 1-0 win against Wales, & is still amused by Chris Gunter’s bid for glory during the first half! With the score still 0-0, the Forest & Wales right-back won the ball on the halfway line, went charging forward, suddenly found himself within shooting distance of the England goal, naturally decided to have a pop… and proceeded to scuff the ball about 20 yards wide! Oh well, bad luck Gunts!

Thursday 8th September 2011 - Rich had an amusing conversation with his Mum yesterday. Ma Fisher & some of her friends recently decided to go & visit a clairvoyant – just for a bit of a laugh really. Never been massively convinced that clairvoyants & the like aren’t just a bunch of snake oil salespeople – however, perhaps not with this particular one… as she actually warned Ma Fisher that her youngest son eats too much cheese!

Friday 9th September 2011 - Rich has just been perusing the TV listings for the weekend – and is a bit confused to see that, at 8.30pm on BBC1, Neil Morrissey is apparently one of the panel guests on ‘A Question of Sport’! Since when has Neil Morrissey had anything to do with sport? Unless being a dirty shag rat & ruining Les Dennis’s marriage is classed as sport these days..!

Saturday 10th September 2011 -Rich is a bit peeved – but not particularly surprised! – that Forest have continued their ropey start to the season by losing again this afternoon… a 3-2 defeat away at Southampton. Good however to see the Reds’ recent signing Matt Derbyshire getting his first goal for the club. Has there ever been a more inappropriately-named Forest player though?

Sunday 11th September 2011 - Rich salutes his pal Max Newton, who today is taking part in an ultra-marathon – which involves him running all the way from London to Brighton… a not inconsiderable distance of 56 miles! Max’s insane antics are all to raise money for the British Red Cross – if anyone wants to sponsor him, then you can do so at www.justgiving.com/maxie

Monday 12th September 2011 - Rich is pleased to report that he survived his first day at work with his new class – what’s more, the morning got off to a lovely & unexpected start when he was presented with a bunch of flowers by one of the children! The boy in question is Eastern European of origin – apparently it’s traditiob in that part of the world for kids to give flowers to their new teacher on the first day of the new school year!

Tuesday 13th September 2011 - Rich & the wife, as part of their current endeavours to try & get fitter, went last night to a ‘boot camp’ session that runs regularly at one of their local parks! Not sure if a return visit will be made – if getting fit is to involve doing painful exercises in the mud & being shouted at by a jumped-up Hitler ‘drill sergeant’, then maybe the preferable option is to just stay slightly UNfit..!

Wednesday 14th September 2011 – Rich & his colleagues came into work today all braced for TV stardom, due to ITV news having announced that they were going to come & film a story for tonight’s news – what with Nottingham Academy now officially the biggest school in the UK. Alas though, the buggers ended up cancelling & going to film something else instead! The fickle world of news, eh..!

Thursday 15th September 2011 - Rich is dead proud of his brother Al for his virtuous endeavours this week. Having registered a while ago as a donor with the Anthony Nolan Trust, Al has been found to be a ‘match’ for a person who has leukaemia – & so this week has begun the process of donating stem cells needed for their treatment. Al is literally a lifesaver!

Friday 16th September 2011 - Rich is mostly amused this morning by an alternative definition that he was told about recently for the word ‘speedboat’! It’s certainly going to be hard from now not to snigger when an old episode of Bullseye comes on the telly, and the great Jim Bowen announces to the winning team that they’ve won themselves a “lovely speedboat”!

Saturday 17th September 2011 - Rich is embarrassed by how utterly crap Forest were this afternoon. Losing at home against Derby is always bad – but to do so after effectively being given a 1-0 head start & one-man advantage in the first few minutes is unforgivable. Anyone else think Forest should get rid of Steve McClaren & go grovelling to Billy Davies in the hope that he’ll take his old job back?

Sunday 18th September 2011 - Rich & Em are out for a pub lunch today with Em’s family – to celebrate the 80th birthday of the legend that is Em’s grandad! Very excited by the imminent arrival of the food – was distinctly less excited earlier today though to be woken at 7am by Em’s alarm going off… her having set it so she could be up to watch some rugby match or other. Bloody egg-chasing!

Monday 19th September 2011 - Rich wishes everyone a very happy – & not to mention swashbuckling – International ‘Talk Like a Pirate’ Day! To get into the spirit of this important annual event, the kids in Class 4A were given special permission this morning during register to respond to their name with a bloodthirsty “Yarr!” instead of the usual “Good morning Mr Fisher”!

Tuesday 20th September 2011 - Rich has always enjoyed the thought of new recruits to the military having ‘You’re In the Army Now’ by Status Quo blasted at them on their first day. Alas though, a recent discussion with someone who works in the armed forces has confirmed that the army induction process is, in actual fact, very much a Quo-free zone. ‘Tis always rubbish when your illusions are shattered..!

Wednesday 21st September 2011 - Rich has decided this year at work to help coach the school football team – & today was given the responsibility of picking the team for their first game of the season. & giving them the all-important pre-match pep talk! Pleased to report that the boys duly went out & thrashed their opponents 10-2! Steve McClaren, if you want any tips on how to do your job properly then feel free to get in touch..!

Thursday 22nd September 2011 - Rich & his colleagues had an eventful day at work today, & even got themselves on the local news – what with the official opening open of their new school building having taken place this morning. Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove was the guest of honour – & provided a genuine moment of awkward hilarity when he said good morning to the kids… only for it be quickly apparent that none of them actually knew who he was!

Friday 23rd September 2011 - Rich is sad about this week’s news of one of his favourite ever bands, R.E.M., having decided to call it a day. In happier news however, the new series of the genius TV show ‘An Idiot Abroad’ starts tonight on Sky One at 9pm. For any of you who haven’t seen it before then it’s well worth a look. Karl Pilkington is a comedy legend!

Saturday 24th September 2011 - Rich was recently given the mission of trying to get in touch with a band called Hard ‘n’ Phirm, who play amusing cover versions of Radiohead songs in a bluegrass style – as a friend of his who is getting married is desperate to have them play at his wedding (although he may or may not have ‘cleared’ this with his wife-to-be!) Alas though, the band have failed to respond to a succession of messages posted on their Facebook page. Anyone got any other ideas?

Sunday 25th September 2011 - Rich , as part of his internet-based research to track down a bluegrass Radiohead tribute band that one of his friends wants to have play at his wedding, stumbled upon a website yesterday that revealed the existence of an Elbow tribute act who, amusingly, go by the name of Arse. And yes, apparently they are convincing that punters can seldom tell their Arse from their Elbow!

Monday 26th September 2011 - Rich has been down to London today for a check-up with his eye doctor – & is very happy to say that he’s finally been given the all-clear to have the next bit of surgery required on his dodgy right peeper! This surgery looks set to happen sometime in January – & all being well, will confine blurry vision to the dustbin of history!

Tuesday 27th September 2011 - Rich , as part of one of the tests carried out yesterday by his eye doctor, had to have an orange dye squirted into both of his peepers. Perhaps inevitably, a by-product of this was ending up with eyelids stained bright orange – and despite ferocious scrubbing with wet wipes, the stuff is stubbornly refusing to completely come off! This is going to make for a VERY interesting look at work this morning..!

Wednesday 28th September 2011 - Rich had genuinely hoped – perhaps naively, in hindsight – that Forest’s 1-0 win at Watford on Saturday might be the start of normal service being resumed in the world of the mighty Reds. But oh no. Getting thrashed 5-1 at Burnley last night – & being 4-0 down at half-time – is surely yet another new lowpoint of the Steve McClaren regime. Any other Reds fans starting to genuinely worry that a relegation dogfight might be on the cards unless drastic changes are made at the City Ground?

Thursday 29th September 2011 - Rich apparently has yet another lookalike, having been told the other day that he looks a bit like the main bloke from ‘The Fades’… a new supernatural drama on the telly. This doppelganger joins a growing list of others that various people have pointed out over time – from X-Factor host Dermot O’Leary (flattering) to Premier League goalkeeper Shay Given (perhaps more realistic) to Nick chuffing Clegg (downright insulting!) Guess it’s kind of fun having a face that’s like a human game of ‘Guess Who’!

Friday 30th September 2011 - Rich is loving the unusally glorious late September weather that Nottingham has been blessed with over the last few days – & still can’t quite believe that him & the wife are actually going to have a barbeque this evening! What with it apparently being ‘British Cheese Week’ this week, it seemed only right to purchase some haloumi to fling onto the coals. Squeaky cheese!

August 2011 – Cornwall, Ireland, York, and other adventures…

Monday 1st August 2011 - Rich, Emma & Al are just about to arrive back in Nottingham, & are all feeling just about human again after a much-needed ‘proper night’s sleep’. The ‘Edmund Hilary’ hotel was brilliant, a real throwback to the 1950s. Mealtimes were announced by the thwacking of a massive gong!

Tuesday 2nd August 2011 - Rich is currently sat watching the last night’s episode of ‘World’s Craziest Fools’ with Mr T, as recorded on his trusty Skyplus box… & is half-expecting to see himself and his fellow Three Peakers featured for their ridiculous exploits at the weekend! By the way, if any of you haven’t seen ‘World’s Craziest Fools’, it’s absolute telly gold! It’s on on Monday nights at 10.30pm on BBC3…

Wednesday 3rd August 2011 - Rich is loving the fact that EastEnders is making a statement about reincarnation, by making the great Frank Butcher return to Albert Square in parrot form! For anyone who doesn’t watch EastEnders or hasn’t seen it this week, yesterday’s episode saw the introduction of a talking parrot called Frank that seems to be able to mimic the former car lot king’s entire repertoire of catchphrases – “You pilchard!”, “You doughnut!” etc..!

Thursday 4th August 2011 - Rich, possibly inspired by the new series of ‘Dragon’s Den’ having started on telly, has been looking into how you take out a patent – as he’s thought of an idea for a consumer product that would be a nailed-on cert to sell in its millions! Only snag is is that it’s quite expensive just to get a patent! Anyone fancy investing in return for a share of possible future profits?!

Friday 5th August 2011 - Rich can’t quite believe that the new footy season finally starts tomorrow, and is looking forward to the Steve McClaren era getting underway at Forest for proper. Anyone else find it a bit strange though how NO-ONE ever mentions the fact that Schuper Schteve played for Derby for several years when he was a player?

Saturday 6th August 2011 - Rich is struggling to think of much positive to say about his trip to the City Ground today to watch Forest’s first game of the new footy season – a dire 0-0 draw against Barnsley. It really doesn’t say a lot for a game of football when your half-time cheese & beetroot cob ends up being your undoubted highlight of the afternoon…

Sunday 7th August 2011 - Rich & Em enjoyed an excellent evening of indoor sport yesterday – with various friends & family members descending upon Fisher Towers for an enjoyable fiesta of darts & table tennis. Cheers to everyone who came! Providing you have a reasonable-sized table, it’s surprisingly easy to transform your dining room into a passable ping pong arena…

Monday 8th August 2011 - Rich enjoyed watching the TV coverage of yesterday’s Community Shield match – good to see Manchester’s two footy teams CAN play each other at Wembley without the matching descending into undignified mass handbags. Though having said that, the kerfuffle at the end of last season’s all-Manchester FA Cup semi-final WAS quite funny for Forest fans, in the sense that there was one point during the argy bargy where it looked like David Platt was gonna get decked by Rio Ferdinand..!

Tuesday 9th August 2011 - Rich thinks Nottingham Forest are a bunch of very cruel bastards indeed – letting poor Notts County & their fans spend the best part of 120 minutes this evening thinking they were going to win on their big night out… only to then break their hearts by casually thwacking in a last gasp equaliser, & then beating them on penalties. Still, well played County!

Wednesday 10th August 2011 - Rich is finding all this rioting nonsense thoroughly depressing – however, BBC Radio Nottingham just provided a moment of genuine light relief courtesy of a live interview with Nick Clegg… in which the Deputy PM got all mardy after it was put to him that maybe he empathises with the rioters what with his own teenage convictions for arson! Priceless..!

Thursday 11th August 2011 - Rich was pleased to wake up this morning to discover that last night was apparently trouble-free in Nottingham by & large – unlike Monday night & Tuesday night. Says a lot about the scum who’ve been causing problems that, as soon as there’s a bit of light drizzle, the feckless bell-ends go crawling back under the stones from beneath which they came. Fingers crossed that’s the end of it…

Friday 12th August 2011 - Rich & the wife are at Liverpool John Lennon Airport about to board a plane to Ireland, for a trip to visit their pals Lizzie & Sean in rural County Clare! Very excited, though a bit peeved at being made to spend 50p on a transparent plastic bag to put toiletries in at security, just because the one they were already in was deemed to be about 2cm too wide. Jobsworths!

Saturday 13th August 2011 - Rich & Em are having a lovely time this afternoon partaking in a whistlestop tour of the many sights of beautiful County Clare in Ireland! One of the undoubted highlights of the day has been a good half-hour spent skimming stones into the Atlantic Ocean! Sometimes in life it’s the simple things that cost nothing that bring the most pleasure…

Sunday 14th August 2011 - Rich & Em are back in England after their brief but lovely break over in Ireland, & are both full of idle daydreams about how great it would be to move over there themselves, away from the rat race… maybe running a cheese shop in a little town somewhere? Cheers to Lizzie & Sean for their excellent hospitality!

Monday 15th August 2011 - Rich has spent some of this morning shamelessly reliving his & Emma’s wedding day – having just taken delivery of a lovely leather-bound photo album featuring all the photos taken on the day by the very talented Marc Bowker! The album is one of those ‘design your own’ albums that you can do online – and it looks great! What with the giant bride’n'groom canvass print already hanging in pride of place in the dining room, Fisher Towers may have to be renamed ‘Narcissism Towers’..!

Tuesday 16th August 2011 - Rich has just heard that ‘The Tiger That Came To Tea’ – one of his favourite children’s books books when he was a kid, & a title that’s still ‘in circulation’ today at primary schools – has been turned into a play! It’s currently showing at one of the theatres in London – hopefully it’ll make it up here to provincial Nottingham at some point…

Wednesday 17th August 2011 - Rich had an excellent evening yesterday. First & foremost, another potential buyer came to view Fisher Towers – so good to know that people aren’t being put off by the unfortunate murder that happened the other week just a few streets away. And secondly, the mighty Forest bagged their first league victory of the new footy season, with a 1-0 win at Doncaster!

Thursday 18th August 2011 - Rich & the wife are up in York visiting their pals Ali & Ash! Got here yesterday evening & had a good mooch round the city – a beautiful place, with some brilliantly quirky bars & pubs! The plan for today meanwhile is to get all togged up – Emma complete with fascinator! – & go to Ladies Day at York races! Anyone got any good tips?

Friday 19th August 2011 - Rich had an excellent time yesterday at York Races, even managing to beat the bookie – though the dismal performance of ‘Moustache’ proved that you should never back a horse just because it has a funny name! Also visited York’s Stone Roses theme bar afterwards, & heard a BRILLIANT story about wingnut-faced former England striker Francis Jeffers. Top day!

Saturday 20th August 2011 - Rich & the wife, having set off at the ludicrously early hour of 3am to cunningly avoid the worst of the holiday traffic, are currently about three-quarters of the way down to Cornwall… & very much looking forward to a week by the sea! Staying in a fisherman’s cottage in St Ives with the legend that is Aunty Barbara & Digby – her giant labradoodle! Bring on the relaxation..!

Sunday 21st August 2011 - Rich is lying in bed listening to the sea. St Ives rocks! Excellent news from ‘back home’ as well, what with the mighty Forest having somehow managed to bag a draw in yesterday’s game against Leicester, despite having been 2-0 down with little more than ten minutes left. By the sounds of it, the Reds’ comeback was largely down to Leicester goalie Kasper Schmeichel needlessly acting like a prize tool, resulting in him getting sent off by the ref. Cheers Kasper!

Monday 22nd August 2011 - Rich & the wife have just made an ingenius discovery – the fact that, using a windbreak as your net, it is very easy indeed to create your own beach badminton court! In fact, the cost of the aforementioned windbreak (£7.99) was marginally cheaper than the amount it costs to hire a badminton court for an hour back at the local leisure centre in Nottingham..!

Tuesday 23rd August 2011 - Rich saw a really interesting programme on telly last night about the building of England’s famous Williamson canal several hundred years ago. To enable the canal to be viable, an aquaduct had to be built – & the engineer in charge of the project managed to convince a sceptical Goverment that this would be possible by making a scale model of the aquaduct out of cheese! Genius…

Wednesday 24th August 2011 - Rich & Em went on a guided ‘pirate walk’ around St Ives yesterday evening. Excellent entertainment! Good news from ‘back home’ too, with Forest beating Wycombe 4-1 last night in the League Cup – & new signing Ishmael Miller getting his first goal for the club. It’s certainly never a bad thing to have a striker whose name is mentioned in ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’: “Ish Miller – we won’t let you go (let me go!)”

Thursday 25th August 2011 - Rich, ‘thanks’ to the ‘Fatbooth’ app on his wife’s iPhone, has made the harrowing discovery that he’ll end up looking scarily like Chris Moyles if his weight gain of recent months continues! As such, him & Em decided today to quit lounging around on the beach & eating unhealthy food… in order to go on a walk! Currently enjoying a pit stop at the Badger Inn in the village of Lelant, a few miles down the coast from St Ives!

Friday 26th August 2011 - Rich has always tried to have an attitude of ‘each to their own’ when it comes to other people & their hobbies – but nevertheless, is really struggling to fathom those odd few people you see on the beaches at St Ives who seem to squander half their holiday sweeping the sand with metal detectors! Quite tempted to get up early & bury a few tin cans, & then sit back & watch as their greedy excitement turns to disappointment..!

Saturday 27th August 2011 - Rich is sad that his & Emma’s Cornwall odyssy is now officially over. Been a tremendous holiday though, & had an excellent final day yesterday visiting Paradise Park – a zoo-type place just up the road from St Ives that has loads of parrots! Now on the way home & thundering across Bodmin Moor – no sign of any pumas as of yet…

Sunday 28th August 2011 - Rich lent his Forest season ticket to a friend for this afternoon – having thought he wouldn’t make it back to Nottingham in time from his & Emma’s gallivanting to be able to go to the Reds’ game against West Ham. Actually got back in plenty of time in the end – however, not sorry to have missed what turned out to be a dire 4-1 defeat. Quite amused though by Hammers boss Sam Allardyce’s increasing resemblence to latter period Meat Loaf..!

Monday 29th August 2011 - Rich discovered yesterday that, while him & Emma were away on holiday, the 18-year-old daughter from the chav family next door gave birth to a baby. So from now on then, it’s not just the sound of the chavs & their scummy hangers-on shouting at each other at all hours that will have to be put up with – a pair of screaming lungs will also be added to the heady mix. Brilliant. Wonder how long it’ll be before the inevitable Jeremy Kyle special to find out who the dad is?

Tuesday 30th August 2011 - Rich is sat watching the classic 60s flick ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s', having stumbled upon it on FilmFour whilst doing a spot of channel hopping. Had never actually seen it before – finding it hard to take it seriously though, due to the fact that A-Team legend George Peppard plays the male lead! With each scene, keep thinking that BA, Murdoch & Face are going to bust their way through the walls in a tank or something..!

Wednesday 31st August 2011 - Rich salutes his wife for being generally ace – her latest feat in tremendousness being the fact that, touch wood, she seems to have cured him of the painful achilles tendonitis that he’s been suffering with over the last few months. Being married to your own physio officially rocks!

July 2011 – Starting off the summer holidays in a nice, laid-back way… by attempting the Three Peaks Challenge!

Friday 1st July 2011 - Rich, as a member of a union that WASN’T supporting strike action, went to work as normal yesterday… but is still feeling just as hacked off as any public sector worker about the likely prospect of being shafted by the Government over pensions. On a happier note though, yesterday also brought the experience of sampling a curry cooked by Michelin-starred celebrity chef Atul Kochar. Nom nom!

Saturday 2nd July 2011 - Rich is spending a big chunk of his weekend basically stalking one of his favourite bands – Yank mentalists the Flaming Lips! Went to Ally Pally in London last night to see them do a special gig in which they played their seminal ‘Soft Bulletin’ album from start to finish. Amazing! And off to see them again tonight – this time an outdoor show where they are playing in front of the Jodrel Bank space telescope!

Sunday 3rd July 2011 - Rich is pleased to report that the Flaming Lips were absolutely mesmirising last night at Jodrell Bank. Also equally rocking was the nearby village of Lower Withington, where a parking space was found after the drive up from Nottingham. Yesterday was Lower Withington’s annual summer fair, which proved well worth a look – with attractions ranging from sheep-shearing to snail racing!

Monday 4th July 2011 - Rich’s house is now officially on the market – with both ‘For sale’ board up outside, and listing now complete on www.rightmove.co.uk. Fingers crossed a buyer can be found sooner rather than later! If any of you know anyone who might be interested in buying a two-bedroom gaff in the salubrious Carlton Hill region of Nottingham then please do shout up..!

Tuesday 5th July 2011 - Rich just found out that the Forest team were put through their places a mere stone’s throw from his workplace yesterday – what with Steve McClaren having decided to take the players on a run through Colwick Woods for their first day of pre-season training. Only a month now til the new season starts..!

Wednesday 6th July 2011 - Rich & Em had an excellent evening yesterday! First of all, there was a celebrity sighting in the local Tesco – none other than Nottingham’s own boxing world champion Carl Froch doing his grocery shopping! And then, later on, ‘Team Ironic Jumper’ triumphed in the pub quiz at the Lemon Tree in West Bridgford..!

Thursday 7th July 2011 - Rich & Emma are pretty hacked off at the fact that their car got broken into yesterday. A considerable amount of time has been spent thinking up preferable ways in which karma could wreak revenge on the thieving scrote who did the deed – so far, the favourite is that the earworm Gods work their magic & they get ‘You’re Beautiful’ by James Blunt stuck in their heads for all eternity..!

Friday 8th July 2011 - Rich has clearly been a bit disorganised with his laundry this week – as on getting ready last night to play five-a-side football, he couldn’t actually find a clean pair of matching footy socks! An odd pair were duly donned, resulting in much piss-taking – however, the match ended up being won by a cricket score! Maybe the ‘lucky’ odd socks will have to be worn every week from now?!

Saturday 9th July 2011 - Rich & Em are partaking in some serious training today for their forthcoming Three Peaks Challenge – by taking part in an organised 20-mile walk through the beautiful Wiltshire countryside! Brilliantly, the walk is being led by ace singer-songwriter Nick Harper – & the plan is for a rest stop every few miles where he gets his guitar out and performs a song!

Sunday 10th July 2011 - Rich & Em are suffering today from achy breaky legs, but had a lovely day on their epic 20-mile walk! Back in the real world meanwhile, it was sad to see the England women’s footy team crash out of the World Cup yesterday, but good to see them finally proving that they are the equal of the men’s team – i.e. bloody useless at taking penalties!

Monday 11th July 2011 - Rich is limbering up for the final week of the school year, & hereby salutes his colleagues Fiona & Sidra – who he has worked alongside for the last two years teaching Year Four… but who will both be moving on to teach different year groups when the new school year starts in September. Cheers ladies, it’s been a blast – particularly the legendary Year Four Team buffet at our weekly planning meetings..!

Tuesday 12th July 2011 - Rich & Em had their first dance at their wedding back in April to ‘For Lovers’ by Pete Doherty – & were darkly amused by the fact that the Libertines singer got sent to prison just a few days later! Apparently Doherty got released the other day – hopefully a few months inside has taught him not to write any more songs that seem to last an excruciating four hours if you happen to be slowdancing to them..!

Wednesday 13th July 2011 - Rich has today spent a rather sombre afternoon saying farewell to a member of his family who wasn’t always the easiest person in the world to get on with – but who nevertheless looms large in many happy childhood memories. RIP Grandad – as the song at your cremation service stated, you certainly did do it ‘Your Way’…

Thursday 14th July 2011 - Rich, though amused by rumours linking them to a defender called Tom Cruise, is getting very concerned by the fact that Forest have had ten players leave this summer & yet have only made one new signing! It’s been particularly sad to see Dele Adebola go, with him having provided excellent entertainment these last few years – though largely for non footballing reasons..!

Friday 15th July 2011 - Rich can’t quite believe today is the final day of the school year, & is a bit sad at the prospect of waving his current class off home for the last time this afternoon. As a thank you from their teacher for being such an awesome class, each of the children will be going home today with a little present – their very own kazoo! Bet the parents will love that..!

Saturday 16th July 2011 - Rich enjoyed a lovely day at work yesterday – which was not only the last day of term for the children, but also their last day in the current school building before it gets knocked down. Some amusing attempts were made by the kids to loot souvenirs – including one spirited pair of year four boys who tried to nick a table!

Sunday 17th July 2011 - Rich has enjoyed an excellent weekend of English eccentricity – with a trip to London yesterday for umbrella jousting & other such capers at The Chap Olympiad… & then a trip to Leeds today to watch folk attempt to take to the skies in man-powered flying machines at the Red Bull Flugtag! Amusingly, one of the judges at the Flugtag was Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards!

Monday 18th July 2011 - Rich is not massively looking forward to the week ahead at work – which him & his colleagues are to spend packing all the stuff from their classrooms into plastic crates… so it can all be moved from the current, soon-to-be-knocked-down school building, & into the brand new gaff over the road. Major faff…

Tuesday 19th July 2011 - Rich salutes his sister-in-law & brother-in-law for their unerring knack of bringing back the coolest presents for him whenever they’ve been away on holiday! The other day, Laura & James got back from Somerset – and casually handed over not only some cheddar actually made in Cheddar Gorge, but also an ace of spades bottle opener! Cheers guys…

Wednesday 20th July 2011 - Rich & Em had an exciting day yesterday, having bought themselves a new car – a nifty little Ford Ka! The trusty Renault Megane will be moving on to pastures new as part of the deal, which is a shame in many ways – alas though, it was getting too expensive to run what with its hungry 1.9 litre engine & the rising price of fuel…

Thursday 21st July 2011 - Rich & his work colleagues officially ‘left the building’ yesterday for the very last time. It’s been a sad week in many ways, but also one full of laughter – not least an amusing afternoon largely spent writing messages in marker pen all over the walls, & the excellent comedy photo opportunity provided by the arrival on site of a bulldozer..!

Friday 22nd July 2011 - Rich is currently sat watching EastEnders – & is feeling rather baffled by the way that the soap constantly presents Max Branning as a lothario figure who’s irresistible to women… despite the fact that he quite clearly resembles slightly younger version of curmudgeonly former Forest manager Gary Megson.

Saturday 23rd July 2011 - Rich & Em have been up in the Peak District doing their final bit of training for next week’s Three Peaks Challenge. Today’s hike was a guided walk visiting three sites where different warplanes crashed around WW2. Really interesting, with lots of wreckage still littered around. And brilliantly, the guide’s name was Bobby Charlton!

Sunday 24th July 2011 - Rich has just returned home from an trip to the other side of Nottingham to drop off an item flogged on eBay – an errand made more memorable than it would’ve otherwise been by the fact that, when the buyer answered her front door, she happened to have a massive cockatoo sitting on her shoulder! ‘Tis always cool when you randomly stumble across interesting people during day-to-day life…

Monday 25th July 2011 - Rich had an lovely day yesterday at Nottingham music festival Splendour – including, if any Arnold Hillbillies from the 1990s are reading this, a sighting of beardy IT teacher Mr Collins! Following the infamous Michael Jackson ones at Glastonbury in 2009, was surprised in some ways not to see any T-shirts on sale saying ‘I was at Splendour the weekend Winehouse snuffed it’ – arguably a business opportunity missed..!

Tuesday 26th July 2011 - Rich has just enjoyed a tremendous lunch at Nottingham’s Indian Community Centre – which, for the benefit of any locals reading this who don’t know where it is, is on the Carrington stretch of Hucknall Road. The place is well worth a visit – for a mere £3.70, you can get a metal tray thingy split into five compartments, all full of curry-tastic goodness…

Wednesday 27th July 2011 - Rich had a ‘cinema day’ yesterday, with a trip to the flicks to see not one but two movies – the new Harry Potter, plus ‘Round Ireland With a Fridge’. Thoroughly enjoyed both films. Harry Potter probably needs no introduction – ‘Round Ireland…’ though, in case you are wondering, tells the true story of a man who sucessfully hitched around the entire circumference of the Emerald Isle. With, yes… a fridge!

Thursday 28th July 2011 - Rich, being the decadent hellraiser that he undoubtedly is, went on a visit yesterday afternoon to his Uncle Colin’s allotment to help do a bit of plant-watering. Rock’n'roll! The reward for performing this task was being allowed to pilfer a few of Uncle Colin’s vegetables, including an absolutely massive marrow! Can anyone recommend any interesting marrow-based recipes?

Friday 29th July 2011 - Rich is heading off to Wales later today, in readiness for tomorrow’s attempt to climb Snowden, Scafell Pike & Ben Nevis in the space of 24 hours… all while dressed as a parrot! Sponsorship for the National Parrot Sanctuary would be much appreciated – visit www.threebeaks.co.uk to give your dosh. Planning to post regular updates on here throughout tomorrow for anyone wanting to follow the progress of the mission!

Saturday 30th July 2011..

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.1 (Saturday 6.39am – 1 hr 21 minutes before the challenge): After a reasonable night’s sleep in the B&B, aided by a few drinks in the bar last night – what pros we are! – most of the team are up & about & ready to head to the start point. Wish us luck!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.2 (9.47am – 1 hour 21 minutes into the challenge): Having met up in a car park in a suspiciously Stan Collymore-ish manner with Danny, Gareth & Brian – our guides/drivers for this mad adventure – we ended up officially setting off at 8.26am! Now part way up Snowden..!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.3 (10.35am – 2 hours 9 minutes into the challenge): Pleased to report that Snowden has been conquered – one down, two to go! A tough slog though what with the heat & bastard midges. Whose idea was it to do this in July?!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.4 (12.50pm – 4 hours 24 minutes into the challenge): Pleased to report that the magnificent seven made it back down Snowden & are now in the van on way to Scafell Pike! Feeling quite righteous for having conquered the mountain the proper way – as opposed to the lazy feckers going up & down on the train..!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.5 (1.51pm – 5 hours 25 minutes into the challenge): Just crossed the border back into England from Wales! In case any of you are wondering about our itinerary, the plan from here is to arrive at Scafell Pike at around 5pm… and then Ben Nevis at around 4am! Fingers crossed the roads will remain clear to enable us to keep to this schedule!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.6 (3.01pm – 6 hours 35 minutes into the challenge): Thanks to heroics behind the wheel on the part of our driver, we are now up in Cumbria & look set to arrive at Scafell Pike well ahead of schedule. Looking forward to tackling another mountain – not least because it’ll be an escape from the van & its heady funk of smelly feet & big Al’s talcum powder..!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.7 (5.19pm – 8 hours 53 minutes into the challenge): Now parroted up again & beginning the ascent of Scafell Pike. Beautiful place, though when a mountain’s called Scafell PIKE it’s hard not to be disappointed when it turns out NOT to be shaped like a giant fish!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.8 (6.49pm – 10 hours 23 minutes into the challenge): Though it’s the ‘baby’ of the Three Peaks, Scafell Pike is proving to be a right bastard to get up! On the way up Snowden there were a fair few flat bits that offered occasional respite – here though, it’s a constant uphill slog…

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.9 (10.07pm – 13 hours 41 minutes into the challenge): Happy to report that Scafell Pike was eventually conquered! Amazing views from the top – Sellafield aside – & after all the hustle bustle at the top of Snowden, it was ace feeling like we had the highest point in England practically to ourselves. On the way to Scotland now!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.10 (11.23pm – 14 hours 57 minutes into the challenge): Just crossed the border into Scotland, though most of my fellow intrepid adventurers missed this momentous moment as everyone’s zonked out asleep – not surprising after today’s sterling efforts! Hoping to grab a bit of shut-eye myself between now & Ben Nevis – the scrunched up body of the parrot suit makes a surprisingly effective pillow!

Sunday 31st July 2011

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.11 (Sunday, 3.01am – 18 hours 35 minutes into the challenge): Just been informed by our driver that the van is now just ten minutes from Ben Nevis! Needless to say it’s pitch black outside, & so there’s currently much rummaging in rucksacks going on to try & find head torches. Bring on the final mountain!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.12 (5.03am – 20 hours 37 minutes into the challenge): Sadly, Ben Nevis proved to be a mountain too far for this parrot. Got about a quarter of the way up & started vomiting violently – took this as a sign of my body saying “Enough!” Back at the van now – feel a bit gutted but still proud to have got as far as I did…

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.13 (8.26am – 24 hours 0 minutes into the challenge): Very chuffed to report that there has been news from the top of Ben Nevis – yes, we have had confirmation that the three members of the Magnificent Seven who are still going all managed to make it to the summit within the 24 hours! A big well done to Chris Fowler, Aidy Cook & Roger Keyworth – you guys are legends!

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.14 (1.19pm – a few hours post challenge): With Chris, Ade & Rog having returned safely from the top of Ben Nevis, the van is now hurtling along on the epic journey back to Wales. Still a bit fed up about not managing to finish Ben Nevis – but in the immortal words of the great Meat Loaf, I guess two out of three ain’t bad…

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.15 (5.05pm – a good few hours after the challenge): Just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who have sponsored me for this weekend’s attempt to parrot my way up three huge mountains! If anyone else would like to fling me a few quid to help the National Parrot Sanctuary you can still do so at www.threebeaks.co.uk

RICH’S THREE PEAKS UPDATE NO.16 (5.45pm – a good few hours more after the challenge): Well, we’re back in Wales now – so this’ll probably be my final update! Muchly looking forward to a proper night’s sleep tonight. The B&B we’re staying in is the same one Sir Edmund Hilary stayed in when he was up in Snowdonia training for his tilt at Everest!

June 2011 – a month of lots of live music, from Adam Ant to Glastonbury…

Wednesday 1st June 2011 - Rich is amused by news of some shenanigans ocurring down in Gloucester this week! As you may know, Whitsun Bank Holiday Monday is when the annual Gloucester cheese rolling used to happen – only the event has been cancelled the last two years due to health & safety concerns. On Monday though, a gang of rebel cheese rollers turned up at the hill & went ahead with the rheese rolling anyway! Viva la cheese revolution!

Thursday 2nd June 2011 – Rich went on a voyage into childhood nostalgia last night, with a trip to Birmingham to see 80s pop legend Adam Ant live in concert! Going to see the icons of your youth is always a bit of a gamble, as there’s always the potential for the crushing disappointment of them turning out to be washed-up has-beens. Happily though, this wasn’t the case with the Dandy Highwayman – he absolutely rocked!

Friday 3rd June 2011 - Rich enjoyed a lovely day trip to London yesterday – an outing that involved friends, pirates, a brilliant photography exhibition… & also a random sighting of cult TV legend Karl Pilkington! Biggest triumph of the day though arguably was getting the last train back to Nottingham & managing to stay awake – thus avoiding the perilous risk of ending up stranded in Derby!

Saturday 4th June 2011 - Rich & Em woke up this morning in a tent in the middle of a farmer’s field… having decided spontaneously yesterday to fling all their camping stuff in the back of the car & head for the Peak District! Off to Castleton today, guided by pirate satnav. “At the end of the next canal, guide her starboard.” Yarr!

Sunday 5th June 2011 - Rich & Emma are back from the Peak District, & muchly enjoyed their little outing! Attempts to climb a mountain weren’t too successful though. After failing to find the amusingly named Devil’s Arse, it was decided instead to attempt Brown Knoll – however, this attempt was abandoned halfway up as it felt too much like hard work. Doesn’t bode well for next month’s Three Peaks Challenge..!

Monday 6th June 2011 - Rich is feeling a bit sad to be going back to work this morning after what’s been an excellent half-term break – and also sad about the passing away at the weekend of his next-door neighbour’s pet hamster. The latter event saw a solemn burial carried out the other day in the back garden. RIP Stanley…

Tuesday 7th June 2011 - Rich spent part of his evening last night watching the BBC2 documentary that was on at the weekend about Brian Clough, & looking out for his friend’s brother! The ‘friend’s brother’ in question usually makes it onto every programme about Cloughie, as he was one of the fans thronging the Forest carpark the day Trevor Francis arrived to sign – & in the footage shot of this event, Tricky Trev walks right past him..!

Wednesday 8th June 2011 - Rich is impressed by the recent antics of his sister-in-law Laura, who has just got back from a trip to New York… where she ended up getting to meet all five members of New Kids On The Block! Although it must be said, the late 80s pop sensations have probably reached a stage in their career where they perhaps ought to rename themselves Not-so-new Middle-aged-Men On The Block..!

Thursday 9th June 2011 - Rich is hoping today is a better day than yesterday – having discovered yesterday afternoon on his latest trip to the eye clinic that the surgery he had done last October has basically failed. Back, then, to square one. And then, as if that alone wasn’t enough of a pisser, it’s announced that Roy Skelton – AKA the voice of Zippy from Rainbow – has snuffed it!

Friday 10th June 2011 - Rich doesn’t like to tar entire subsections of society with the same brush – however, based on recent experiences of him & Em, & also those of some other members of his family, he is starting to believe that pretty much all people involved in the selling or renting of property are basically a bunch of lying, money-grabbing turds. Yes, the househunting isn’t really going very well, in case you were wondering..!

Saturday 11th June 2011 - Rich is glad the weekend is here after a busy week at work. It’s been a fun week though – to help develop their understanding of reusing and recycling, the kids have been busy making stuff out of rubbish… much like the Wombles! In Year Four, the particular focus was on carrier bags. Do any former Arnold Hillbillies remember Mr Quick and his bizarre carrier bag collection?

Sunday 12th June 2011 - Rich has had an excellent, relaxing weekend mostly involving quality time spent with family. It’s great having parents with whom you can openly banter about totally irreverant things – for instance, yesterday saw a lively & hilarious discussion about, of all things, the potential pros & cons of getting revenge on someone who’s done bad things to you by pooing in a cardboard box & sending it to them through the post!

Monday 13th June 2011 - Rich is disappointed by Forest’s decision to sack manager Billy Davies. Yes, so the guy’s a bit belligerent and outspoken – but couldn’t the same be said for a certain Brian Howard Clough? Can’t help but fear that the Reds will end up with the sort of simpering Yes Man of a manager that frankly they probably deserve after the way they’ve treated Davies. All the best for the future, Billy, wherever it may take you…

Tuesday 14th June 2011 - Rich had a positive day yesterday – having discovered through a trip to London to see his eye consultant that things aren’t actually looking as bleak for his right eye as they were last week. Elsewhere in the world meanwhile, Forest moved quickly in appointing a new manager – let’s hope that Steve McClaren turns out to be a wise choice…

Wednesday 15th June 2011 - Rich & Emma went to the flicks last night to see ‘Senna’ – an excellent documentary about the life & career of the late, great Brazilian Formula One driver Ayrton Senna. Never been a massive fan of motor racing, but Formula did used to be ridiculously exciting in the early 90s when Senna & Alain Prost were always neck-and-neck. ‘Senna’ of course though has the saddest of endings…

Thursday 16th June 2011 - Rich enjoyed something really rather lovely the other day – namely, the arrival in the post of a handwritten letter from a friend! In this modern world that’s so geared around electronic communications, handwritten letters from friends feel like an exciting novelty. And this particular one came accompanied by an article ripped out of a magazine about cheese tourism!

Friday 17th June 2011 - Rich renewed his Forest season ticket y’day afternoon. The idea had been to pop down to the City Ground at a time when it would be quiet – but on arrival there was a big crowd of people outside the club shop. Turned out Carl Froch was about to arrive to officially launch the Reds’ new kit! An exciting day then for Forest fans, what with drawing Notts County in the first round of the League Cup as well [!]

Saturday 18th June 2011 - Rich & Em are enjoying an eventful Saturday, having had a lovely catch-up with the Bakers… followed by a fascinating tour of RAF Scampton in Lincolnshire – former base of the Dambusters. Then, as if those things weren’t enough excitement for one day, there was the sight on the motorway of a man bombing along in the outside lane whilst the lady in the passenger seat did unspeakable things to him..!

Sunday 19th June 2011 - Rich  Em continued their eventful Saturday yesterday with an evening spent watching Ringo Starr live in concert! And talking of Scouse legends, big congratulations to Mikey B, who completed the Three Peaks Challenge this morning. Fills you with confidence when someone you know succeeds in achieving something that you yourself are setting out to achieve in the not too distant future…

Monday 20th June 2011 - Rich & Em spent an enjoyable afternoon yesterday at Arnold Carnival – Arnold being a suburb of Nottingham, for the benefit of any non-locals reading this. Highlight of the carnival was the dog show. Unfortunately, didn’t get there in time for either the ‘Waggiest tail’ or ‘Prettiest bitch’ [!] categories – however, the grand finale, the canine sausage-catching contest, was excellent entertainment!

Tuesday 21st June 2011 - Rich is sad about the demise of his brother Al’s car – AKA ‘The Nail’. For anyone who never encountered The Nail, it was a black Toyota Sera with gullwing doors – imagine a low-rent cross between the Back to the Future & Knightrider cars! Alas though, latest of many breakdowns saw The Nail officially categorised as being no longer financially viable to keep running…

Wednesday 22nd June 2011 - Rich is very excited about the fact that the Glastonbury festival opens its gates today – although is less thrilled about not being able to get down there himself until Friday night cos of work. In hindsight, perhaps this late arrival could’ve been avoided by cunningly arranging to take the kids on a Glasto field trip?! Though dread to think what it would be like to complete a risk assessment for such a trip..!

Thursday 23rd June 2011 - Rich has discovered that, as well as Glastonbury, there’s also another festival that’s begun this week a bit closer to home in part of Nottinghamshire… namely, the annual Lowdham Book Festival. It’s got some interesting-sounding events happening – although not so sure about the sound of the talk that’s being given about creepy kids’ cartoon the Moomins & philosophy..!

Friday 24th June 2011 - Rich is very excited about the fact that – thanks to the great Mr John Lloyd being their own Glastonbutler- his & Emma’s tent is already pitched at Glastonbury ready for this weekend’s shenanigans! Roll on 3pm then, when the trip down to Worthy Farm can finally commence! Funny to think that, this time last year, best laid plans for a certain marriage proposal were about to be executed..!

Saturday 25th June 2011 - Rich & the wife got woken up in their tent at Glastonbury this morning by Coldplay’s road crew doing a soundcheck on the nearby Pyramid Stage – which bizarrely consisted of them playing a loud instrumental rendition of ‘Ace of Spades’! Had an excellent first night last night – not least arriving just in time to see Radiohead play a surprise set on one of the small stages..!

Sunday 26th June 2011 - Rich is looking forward to the final day of Glasto – though it’ll take a lot to top y’day! Following on from Friday night’s unannounced Radiohead set, there were more ‘Special guests’ last night on one of the smaller stages – turned out to be Pulp! That said, overall highlight y’day was actually one of the more random Glasto attractions – namely the ‘Wall of Death’, where crazy people do crazy things on motorbikes!

Monday 27th June 2011 - Rich is limbering up for Monday morning at work, & is feeling surprisingly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed – largely thanks to him & Em having pulled off a flawless ‘Sunday night quick getaway’ last night at Glasto. Going from whooping it up to Beyonce’s grand entrance on the Pyramid Stage at 10.15pm, to collapsing in your own bed 170-odd miles away at 2.20am, is surely not bad going by anyone’s standards…

Tuesday 28th June 2011 - Rich & Em spent last night reliving Glasto courtesy of the BBC’s highlights – & were amused to spot themselves rocking out to DJ Vimto! Check out this vid at around 3:06! http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/festivals/glastonbury/2011/artists/djvimtoandjahdigga/#p00hswtm. Disappointing lack of coverage though of the Wombles’ incendiary set on the Avalon Stage, or the grizzled fishermen who sang sea shanties on the Pyramid Stage!

Wednesday 29th June 2011 - Rich is starting to feel a bit sad about the fact that the school where he works is going to be knocked down in a few weeks’ time. That said, the impending bulldozing led to an amusing assembly yesterday , in which Paul The Deputy Head explained various demolition techniques to the children… by showing them some classic footage of the late TV legend Fred Dibnah in action!

Thursday 30th June 2011 - Rich had an excellent day yesterday! First of all, a ‘decades’ theme dressing up day at work provided the perfect excuse to teach all day dressed in full 1970s Forest kit! Then, in the evening, much fun was had out in downtown Nottingham having drinks to celebrate the birthday of Em’s lovely work pal Ali…

May 2011 – back down to earth with a bump after returning from honeymoon… and a road trip to Eurovision!

Sunday 1st May 2011 - Rich & Emma are at Colombo International Airport! How cool is it that Sri Lanka named its main transport hub after the world’s greatest TV sleuth? Pleased to report that honeymoon has been amazing – not least spending ten days gloriously cocooned from the outside world (though Sri Lankan telly DID show both the Royal Wedding and, perhaps more surprisingly, the Forest scores!) Owt interesting been going on, folks?

Monday 2nd May 2011 - Rich is back home from Sri Lanka, & still buzzing from what was a brilliant holiday. It was basically like being in a Bounty advert for ten days, with all-inclusive food & booze & wild elephants to boot! The only downside was the the occasional tendency of the German guests at the resort to play table tennis in just their Speedos!

Tuesday 3rd May 2011 - Rich is up bright & early ready to go back to work. Oh well, the excitement of recent weeks was always going to end eventually! Today will be a huge shock to the system though after ten days of becoming slowly institutionalised on an all-inclusive holiday resort, where all you have to worry about is when your next meal is! Yesterday, merely going out to get some groceries felt like a hugely complicated undertaking..!

Wednesday 4th May 2011 - Rich had a horrendous migraine today, though has been cheered up by Emma showing her wifely qualities in looking after him… & also some news from his mum. Ma Fisher was walking the dog today on the fields by Carlton Forum – a local leisure, for the benefit of the non Nottingham-dwellers among you – & ended up bumping into & having a chat with the legend that is Owl Man!

Thursday 5th May 2011 - Rich salutes his pal Jonny Heald, who recently completed an epic charity bike ride all the way from Land’s End to John O’Groats! Even more impressively, Jonny is a Forest fan & did the trip with a mate of his who’s a Derby fan! If any of you are sufficiently impressed to want to sponsor Jonny, you can do so at www.justgiving.com/landsendcycle2011

Friday 6th May 2011 - Rich hereby wishes his missus a very happy birthday – 28 today! – & is smiling about the fact that, after recent events,he was able to get her one of those ‘To my lovely wife’ birthday cards! Also got her a jigsaw as her present. Who said romance was dead?!Possibly Em’s coolest present though was from Ma & Pa Fisher – a Forest shirt with ‘FISHER’ & no28 printed on the back!

Saturday 7th May 2011 - Rich just popped out on an early morning trip to the supermarket, & on the way was privy to one of his favourite simple pleasures in life – yes, the sight of a car driving along with a dog sticking its head out of the window! Hopefully this is somehow a sign that Forest will successfully ‘finish off the job’ this afternoon, & poetically secure a play-off spot at the expense of dirty Leeds!

Sunday 8th May 2011 - Rich muchly enjoyed his afternoon down the pub yesterday to watch Forest secure their play-off place live on Sky Sports. Bring on Swansea! As it turned out, the Reds ended up beating Crystal Palace so comfortably that manager Billy Davies was even able to saunter off to enjoy a leisurely poo during the second half. And did anyone else see the massive fuck-off eagle that flew onto the pitch just before kick-off?!

Monday 9th May 2011 - Rich wishes his talented colleagues who teach the the three Year Six classes at the school where he works the very best of luck for the next few days – what with this week being the week of the dreaded yearly SATs exams in reading, writing and maths. Hopefully all the hard work over recent weeks will pay dividends and the children will all do really well. Fingers crossed…

Tuesday 10th May 2011 - Rich went to the cinema last night to see ‘Upside Down’ – a documentary telling the colourful story of Creation Records. Would heartily recommend the film to any fellow scholars of indie music – for any of you who don’t know, Creation was run basically by a bunch of mentalists & was the label which brought the world numerous great bands from the Super Furry Animals to [most famously] Oasis…

Wednedsday 11th May 2011 - Rich is amused by this week’s announcement that Cliff Richard will be doing a concert in Nott’m later in 2011 – & is reminded of a time years ago when him & his pal Zippy were at a music festival, & decided to start spreading a false rumour that Cliff had snuffed it! In hindsight this caper is perhaps nothing to be proud of – but the ‘news’ spread so far that even New Order, one of the festival headliners, fell for it!

Thursday 12th May 2011 - Rich is on his way home from a frustrating evening at the City Ground. Forest only getting a draw against ten men in the play-off semi-final home leg certainly feels like an opportunity missed – however, there’s still a whole 90 minutes of football to be played & the pressure (always the killer for the Reds) is surely now off Billy Davies & the boys…

Friday 13th May 2011 - Rich feels like he’s having a productive week this week. At work, he’s enlivened a particularly dull staff meeting by feeding his colleagues cartons of Um Bongo – while outside of work, he’s successfully made lots of mess on people’s carpets across the land. And tonight meanwhile, the plan is to head off on a road trip to go to the Eurovision Song Contest!

Saturday 14th May 2011 - Rich & Emma, having got the Eurostar to Brussels this morning and then picked up a hire car and driven to Germany, have just arrived in the city Dusseldorf for the Eurovision song contest! Naturally, excitement is at fever pitch at the anticipation of the evening of pure cheese that lies ahead..!

Sunday 15th May 2011 - Rich is pleased to report that him & Em arrived home safely today from their epic schlep across Europe for last night’s Eurovision. An absolutely hilarious time was had! Now at Nottingham’s Theatre Royal experiencing a very different kind of hilarity – a brilliant show by John Cleese, in which the Monty Python legend is basically telling his life story. Busy times..!

Monday 16th May 2011 - Rich is sad about Forest’s promotion dreams being dashed after defeat this evening in the play-off semi-final second leg at Swansea – but feels incredibly proud to be a Reds fan. The players gave it absolutely everything – lady luck just wasn’t smiling on them tonight. Football can be such a bloody cruel game sometimes..!

Tuesday 17th May 2011 - Rich has just realised that, with us entering the 17th day of May today, him and his wife have now been married for exactly one month! Still buzzing from the wedding – favourite memory today is the surprise good luck messages received on the day from various celebs… ranging from Rolf Harris to Forest manager Billy Davies!

Wednesday 18th May 2011 - Rich has just been down to the peeper clinic – an important ‘six months after surgery’ appointment, where the eye doctor reveals whether or not the surgery has actually turned out to be successful. Pleasingly, it was – the deterioriation of vision in the right eye has been completely halted! Next step will now be further surgery to restore the vision to what it should be…

Thursday 19th May 2011 - Rich loves the advert that’s on telly at the moment for Magners cider – the one featuring a bloke called Eamon, who has a ‘beard’ made entirely out of live bees! How cool would it be to have such a beard?! Still don’t really ‘get’ the whole idea of having your cider with ice though…

Friday 20th May 2011 - Rich is looking forward to 8pm tonight & the latest instalment of what is by far the best thing on telly at the moment – ‘Baboons with Bill Bailey’ on ITV1! The programme is exactly what it says on the tin – a series in which the hobbit-faced comic follows a tribe of wild baboons living in Cape Town South Africa. They’re amazing creatures that get up to all sorts of shenanigans – including breaking into cars!

Saturday 21st May 2011 - Rich is amused by all the God-botherers in America harping on about how the world’s going to end at 6pm today… & is having idle thoughts as to whether he can use their outlandish claims as an excuse to not bother doing some laborious paperwork he has to get done this weekend for his job. “Sorry Mrs Hewitt, I didn’t bother updating my APP folder – it didn’t seem worth it seeing as the world was going to end!”

Sunday 22nd May 2011 - Rich & Em have spent much of this weekend househunting! The plan is to buy a new-build property in the countryside – although it’s been a frustrating mission so far… largely due to Taylor-Wimpey basically being a bunch of shitbags! Looking around showhomes has been fun however! The way they’re artfully set up to look like a ‘real home’ is very amusing – including kids’ clothes left crumpled on the floor..!

Monday 23rd May 2011 - Rich feels sad for Ian Holloway’s Blackpool after their relegation – especially given that there was a point yesterday when it looked like they might actually achieve mission impossible and survive by shafting some massive team who it’s not worth risking mentioning by name… just in case ALL their players have all taken out ‘super injunctions’ banning anyone from talking about them being involved in any acts of shafting!

Tuesday 24th May 2011 - Rich has just woken up in deepest darkest South Yorkshire at the Kingswood outdoor activity centre – & is limbering up for day two of his school’s annual residential trip for the year six kids! Arrival yesterday saw the hilarious sight of seventy 10 & 11-year-olds trying to put their own duvet covers on! Today meanwhile is set to be a hectic day of activities ranging from quad biking to rock climbing…

Wednesday 25th May 2011 - Rich & his old pal Kris Walden, back in June 1991, got bollocked big time on their primary school residential trip to Whitby… after getting busted for having a copy of a ‘gentleman’s magazine’ in their room at the B&B! 20 years on then, it feels quite strange in some ways to have gone from being poacher to gamekeeper (so to speak). Last two days have been very funny though – albeit tiring..!

Thursday 26th May 2011 - Rich went out for dinner last night with some relatives that he’s never met before – namely his mum’s cousin, her husband and their son… who all live in the Bahamas, and are currently visiting the UK. It is all quite interesting really, having family members scattered across distant corners of the planet!

Friday 27th May 2011 - Rich heard a great story y’day from his pal Graham, about a teacher who was recently observed teaching a lesson about WW2. Wanting to do something a bit different, aforesaid teacher acquired a WW2 air raid siren & staged a mock air raid mid-lesson! The kids had had no warning, & were made to get under the tables. Genius! Always great to hear about teachers who try to make learning exciting…

Saturday 28th May 2011 - Rich is seriously thinking about ditching his car and buying a bus as a means of saving money, having this week received his second fine in the space of a year for being caught driving in a sodding bus lane! Liverpool City Council – please put the £30 currently heading your way towards some clearer signage in the Lime Street area of your city, so that motorists actually know that the bus lane is a bus lane..!

Sunday 29th May 2011 - Rich & Emma enjoyed a takeaway curry last night while watching some sublime football from Barcelona on telly in the Champions League final. Lovely food, although a severe case of ‘Ghandi’s Revenge’ this morning. Still, it sort of makes you empathise with how Manchester United must feel not being able to cope with Lionel Messi, when your intestines can’t cope with Paneer Methi..!

Monday 30th May 2011 - Rich is not displeased to have a week off work this week! In some ways it doesn’t feel like 2 minutes since the last school hols, what with the half-term that’s just finished having been only 4 weeks… though it’s been a hectic one! Highlight: notorious year 5 boy turning up after trip to barbers with best mullet since Chris Waddle. Lowlight: ridiculous parent complaint about Stevie Wonder being played in classroom…

Tuesday 31st May 2011 - Rich is enjoying what has always been one of his favourite simple pleasures whenever he has a week off – namely, a good potter around downtown Nottingham. Not looking forward however to this afternoon’s trip to the dentist, although amusingly the appointment is actually at ‘tooth hurty’!

April 2011 – getting married and going off on honeymoon!

Friday 1st April 2011 (am) - Rich has always been a fan of shops that have funny names – but nevertheless, he still cannot quite believe the news that he heard the other day from his friends the Turps up in Merseyside. Apparently, a new cafe has opened in the part of Scouseland where they live – and the proprietors have elected to call in… drumroll… The Sausage Jockey. And no, this is not an April Fool’s joke before any of you ask!

Friday 1st April 2011 (pm) - Rich is excited by the realisation that hit him this morning – yes, the fact that he’s getting married THIS MONTH! On a less happy note though, bank balances in the Fisher-Brown household are not looking too healthy, what with everything for the wedding now needing to be paid for..!

Saturday 2nd April 2011 (am) - Rich has just heard that his hero Rolf Harris is in the East Midlands today – specifically, in Derby, where he’s making a personal appearance at an art gallery that’s running an exhibition of his paintings. Rolf was obviously inspired by all the Comic Relief TV programmes featuring celebrities visiting shanty towns in Africa, & thought he too would spend some time in a disadvantaged community..!

Saturday 2nd April 2011 (pm) - Rich is ratted off at Forest’s defeat at Leeds this afternoon, but proud of the mighty Reds for conducting themselves in a dignified manner despite being victim of some truly awful refereeing. Would always rather support a team that loses 4-1 with dignity, than a team that wins 4-1 by being cheating bastards with a manager who walks onto the pitch during open play in order to tell the ref to send off an opposing player.

Sunday 3rd April 2011 (am) - Rich hopes his mum has a fantastic Mother’s Day today. Ma Fisher is a legend for many reasons – the latest reason being her recent rediscovery of her long-lost love of baking. Every visit to Ma & Pa Fisher’s house now involves being plied with industrial quantities of homemade cakes & biscuits. Brilliantly, Ma Fisher’s most recent creations were fairy cakes with pictures of dartboards on them!

Sunday 3rd April 2011 (pm) - Rich, as a man who counts pogo-ing round his parents’ front room when he was a toddler to ‘Stand & Deliver’ as being among his earliest memories of music, is actually quite excited to hear that Adam Ant is finally emerging from years in the pop wilderness to do a UK tour! Alas he’s not playing Nott’m – however, he is doing dates in the not-too-distant lands of Birmingham & Sheffield. Who’s up for it?

Monday 4th April 2011 (am) - Rich is not particularly surprised to hear that Notts County have parted company with Paul Ince – making him the 327th manager to get his P45 in the last few years at Medaow Lane. Or something like that! In terms of replacing Ince, it’s surely time for David Platt to return to front line management & take the job? After all, he knows Nottingham, & he’s already a hero among Notts fans for his past ‘achievements’ here..!

Monday 4th April 2011 (pm) - Rich is amused hear that legendary former Forest & England goalkeeper Peter Shilton is in town tonight, doing an Evening with…’ event. Hopefully Shilts has gained a sense of humour since his last such appearance in Nottingham, when he threw a big mard after someone asked him ‘Does it annoy you that, despite your great career, most Forest fans remember you best for getting caught with your kecks down in Colwick Park?’!

Tuesday 5th April 2011 (am) - Rich can’t quite believe he’s getting married next week! In fact, the Fisher-Brown wedding is so close now that weather forecasts for the big day are now available on most of the main weather websites! The general consensus seems to be that it’s going to be cold & a bit cloudy – however, the good news [& arguably the most important thing, weather-wise] is that it’s looking like it’s going to stay dry!

Tuesday 5th April 2011 (pm) - Rich just got home from work to find signs of a burglar having made entry into his house at some point during the day today. However, the burglar in question was the greatest type of burglar – as not only did they not nick anything, they also left some lovely cake!

Wednesday 6th April 2011 (am) - Rich popped into downtown Nottingham last night to go to the cinema, & was pleased to find a parking space on the bottom of Park Row [just off Maid Marion Way]. This has long been a favourite parking spot – entirely due to childish amusement that can be wrung from the fact that there’s a building on the stretch of road in question called Butt Dyke House! Oh, & the film – ‘Killing Bono’ – was excellent as well…

Wednesday 6th April 2011 (pm) - Rich’s job today involved the two-times-a-year joy that is parents evening. It was actually a largely positive experience though, with lots of the parents making a point of saying how much their children are enjoying school this year… something which somehow feels infinitely more important as a measure of your effectiveness as a teacher than how much progress the kids are making.

Thursday 7th April 2011 (am) - Rich & Emma, excitingly, received their first wedding present the other day – some new tea towels off their cleaner! Should this be interpreted as a subtle hint that the existing tea towels at Fisher-Brown Towers are a bit manky, & ready for replacement? The new ones are decorated with a stylish lemon motif, which will bring a pleasing ‘debut-album-era-Stone-Roses’ vibe to the daily chore of doing the washing up..!

Thursday 7th April 2011 (pm) - Rich loves the advert for Diet Coke that’s currently on telly for Diet Coke, featuring a group of animated girls dancing around to ‘She’s a Maniac’ from the ‘Flashdance’ soundtrack. One of the girls in the advert, the one with the red hair, bears a not inconsiderable resemblence to a certain Emma Brown – soon to be Emma Fisher..!

Friday 8th April 2011 (am) - Rich’s car wouldn’t start last night – resulting in a call to Green Flag… who, on arrival, discovered the battery was knackered. Fortunately, the dude from Green Flag immediately offered a solution – by handing over a business card for someone called, amusingly, ‘Battery Boy’! Happily, this mysterious superhero agreed to come out & quickly had a new battery fitted – though sadly, he wasn’t wearing a cape…

Friday 8th April 2011 (pm) - Rich is looking forward to going to London tomorrow to attend an annual film festival organised by the Adventurists – the company who run the Mongol Rally. Rich has actually entered a short film that he put together of his & his mate Ed’s journey to Mongolia in 2008 – so he may well be able to describe himself as an award-winning film-maker by this time tomorrow!

Saturday 9th April 2011 (am) - Rich is up bright & early & looking forward to his trip to London… though it does mean he’ll miss today’s Forest game. Saying that, part of him kind of hopes that the Reds finish the job they’ve started in recent weeks of completely arseing up their chances of getting promoted. That way, he’ll be able to go off on honeymoon a week on Monday without having to worry about the infuriating buggers!

Saturday 9th April 2011 (pm) - Rich is somewhat dismayed that neither his film, his football team or his horse were winners today. Nevertheless, an excellent day has been had at the Adventurists’ film festival down in London. Some great films, and also a talk by Ed Stafford – a man who last year completed an incredible expedition that saw him walk the entire length of the Amazon!

Sunday 10th April 2011 (am) - Rich s very excited about the fact that his wedding is in exactly a week! Yesterday brought an excellent reminder of one of the many reasons why Emma is prime marriage material – her ability to sum things up perfectly. During a slow crawl through grim outer London on a rail replacement bus, she uttered the priceless comment “This place is like a Netherfield that goes on forever.” Brilliant…

Sunday 10th April 2011 (pm) - Rich was in downtown Notttingham today, & was excited to spot an iconic figure from his mis-spent youth prowling the streets – namely, The Dark Lord of Rock! The character in question was so named because he had long black hair & always wore head-to-toe black leather… & without fail, he would ALWAYS be lurking somewhere every time you went to legendary Nottingham nightspot Rock City. First confirmed sighting in years!

Monday 11th April 2011 (am) - Rich is getting married THIS week… which is very exciting! In latest wedding developments, some of ‘Team Groom’ went to the suit hire shop yestersay to collect their suits. Amusingly, the girl who works in the hire bit of the shop is called Joanne Pencil – something which has inspired endless jokes ["She can be a bit blunt sometimes", etc..!]

Monday 11th April 2011 (pm) - Rich just went on his once-every-four-months trip to the Nottingham Blood Centre to make a blood donation. The Blood Centre is clearly going up in the world – as as well as those mini packets of three biscuits like what you get in hotels, they now have ‘Club’ chocolate bars among the array of post-donation snacks that they have on offer!

Tuesday 12th April 2011 (am) - Rich suspects that him & Emma are supposed to be panicking & flapping around by now, what with there being just a few days to go until the wedding. Happy to report though that the atmosphere at Fisher-Brown Towers is one simply of serene anticipation. Bride-to-be & groom-to-be even fitted in a leisurely trip to the cinema last night to see the parrot-tastic new animated flick ‘Rio’ – which pleasingly was superb…

Tuesday 12th April 2011 (pm) - Rich suspected that he’d be treated to some sort of ritual embarrassment at some point this week at work, what with it being his final week in the office before his wedding. What he WASN’T expecting though was what he got this morning – an air guitar competition in his honour in front of the entire school! Cheers esteemed colleagues – it was awesome!

Wednesday 13th April 2011 (am) - Rich was pleased to see Forest beat Burnley last night, ending an awful run of nine winless matches. Have any other Reds fans noticed that the team’s dip in form over the last few of months began pretty much the moment those ‘Number one is Brian Rice’ T-shirts went on sale on the club shop? Hopefully though last night’s victory means the players have somehow managed to break the curse of the ginger ninja!

Wednesday 13th April 2011 (pm) - Rich took his class to the swimming baths this afternoon for what was their final swimming lesson of the current school year. The kids were quite sad to be finishing – this sadness however was not shared by their teacher, who is really rather happy that the weekly palaver is finally over after eight long weeks!

Thursday 14th April 2011 (am) - Rich went to see some live comedy last night – a show by Richard Herring all about Jesus. Very funny – though none of the content was anywhere near as subversive as something one of the children in Class 7 wrote the other day in their version of the Easter Story. “After Jesus died the guards took him off the cross. They got some cloth & raped his body carefully.” Poor Jesus!

Thursday 14th April 2011 (pm) - Rich discovered another amusing piece of writing this afternoon when marking some of his class’s books. Hot on the heels of yesterday’s shock allegation about Biblical necrophilia, the following matter-of-fact revelation popped up in a piece of writing about Tudor lifestyles: “In Tudor times, poor people used to have to empty out rich people’s piss pots”!

Friday 15th April 2011 (am) - Rich thinks Notts County’s appointment of Martin ‘Mad Dog’ Allen as their new manager is an inspired choice – mainly because the man is clearly a loon & his interviews on the local radio have been inspired so far! The other day he got all excited about the clothes that BBC Nottingham’s Notts County correspondent Colin Slater was wearing. “Mate, you’re all in tweed! Your gear is AMAZING!”

Friday 15th April 2011 (pm) - Rich has just played his list game of five-a-side football before the wedding, & is pleased to report that he got through it injury free – & so won’t have to get married on crutches on Sunday! Great last-day-of-Spring-term at work today too, with lots of lovely wedding gifts & cards off the kids – including one of those big plastic keys ['The key to a happy marriage'!]

Saturday 16th April 2011 (am) - Rich went to the pub last night to watch the live Sky coverage of Forest’s match at Norwich, & is glad the game was rescheduled for the Friday night – from it’s original 3pm Saturday slot. For a time there was a serious possibly that the game could be rescheduled for live coverage on the Sunday [i.e. tomorrow] – & who wants to be taking their wedding vows while half of the room are checking the score on their phones?!

Saturday 16th April 2011 (pm) - Rich has discovered that the registrar who’s officiating at his & Emma’s wedding tomorrow is actually the sister-in-law of one of his friends! It truly is a small world sometimes. In other Fisher-Brown wedding news meanwhile, a major deforestation exercise has now been successfully completed on the groom’s chin..!

Sunday 17th April 2011 (am) - Rich can’t believe that his & Emma’s big day has finally arrived – & is immensely excited about what’s hopefully going to be the greatest day of his life! Wishing everyone who’s travelling to the wedding today a safe journey. Here in Nottingham, there’s just the small matter of a groom’s speech still to write! Oh, & trying to remember exactly how you tie a bloody cravat..!

Monday 18th April 2011 - Rich is struggling to think of words that come anywhere close to doing justice to what an incredible time him & Emma had yesterday at their wedding. A beautiful day in every possible way – big thanks to all of you who came & made it so special! As soon as the bride manages to shake off her hangover, the plan of attack for today is to get online & find somewhere to go on honeymoon – watch this space!

Tuesday 19th April 2011 - Rich wandered into the living room y’day to find Em on the phone to her sis & uttering the words “We’ve been at it all day!” Needless to say, it was all a bit “Woah! No-one wants THAT MUCH info about our first day of married life!” Turned out though Em was actually referring to the long-winded [as it turned out] process of finding a decent last-minute hol! Happily though, persistence did pay off – THE HONEYMOON IS ON!!!

Wednesday 20th April 2011 - Rich & his lovely Fish[er]wife are off to the airport shortly to fly to Sri Lanka! The idea of being able to switch off the outside world off for ten days feels very appealing, & so these will probably be Rich’s last words on here until early May. Those folk who think he ‘goes on too much’ will probably be quite happy to hear this to be fair!