Thursday 1st September 2011 - Rich is looking forward to this evening’s instalment of a programme that’s currently his favourite thing on TV – namely, Channel 5′s ‘Croc Man’! For anyone who’s not seen it, ‘Croc Man’ is a series that follows a bloke down in Oxfordshire & his attempts to set up the UK’s first crocodile zoo. Oh, and brilliantly, it’s narrated by none other than EastEnders legend John ‘Nick Cotton’ Altman!
Friday 2nd September 2011 - Rich & Em went to one of those ‘An evening with…’ dos last night, where retired footy players trot out the war stories from their careers – with Mark Crossley in the spotlight on this occasion. Some great tales from the former Forest keeper – not least the revelation that he lamped Pierre Van Hooijdonk when he returned from his infamous three-month strike back in the late-1990s…
Saturday 3rd September 2011 - Rich is wondering what to do with himself today, what with the mighty Forest not having a game due to the ‘international break’. Quite tempted to fill the void by making a trip down to the Chesterfield Arms – a pub a couple of miles down the road, in the salubrious corner of Nottingham they called Gedling – & have a punt on their legendary weekly meat raffle!
Sunday 4th September 2011 - Rich & the wife, driven by post-summer skintness, decided to get up insanely early this morning in order to flog some of their clutter! If any of the Nottingham-dwellers among you fancy coming to have a look at the Fisher Emporium of Shite, then head down to Calverton car boot sale! Unbelievably, ‘Phil Collins: The Singles Collection’ on VHS has as of yet failed to sell..!
Monday 5th September 2011 - Rich heads back to work today – the school summer holidays now officially over. At Nottingham Academy, the kids don’t actually start back until next Monday – this week though, there is the small matter of officially moving in to a brand new school building… and transforming it from the blank canvass it is at the moment into a veritable temple of learning!
Tuesday 6th September 2011 - Rich’s boss gave a sort of motivational speech at work today, in which she described all her staff as ‘The A Team’! Needless to say, a massive compliment! Today, still wanted by the Government, the Nottingham Academy primary staff survive as soldiers of education. If you have a problem, & if no-one else can help, & if you can find them… maybe YOU can hire The A Team!
Wednesday 7th September 2011 - Rich watched the live telly coverage last night of the England footy team’s 1-0 win against Wales, & is still amused by Chris Gunter’s bid for glory during the first half! With the score still 0-0, the Forest & Wales right-back won the ball on the halfway line, went charging forward, suddenly found himself within shooting distance of the England goal, naturally decided to have a pop… and proceeded to scuff the ball about 20 yards wide! Oh well, bad luck Gunts!
Thursday 8th September 2011 - Rich had an amusing conversation with his Mum yesterday. Ma Fisher & some of her friends recently decided to go & visit a clairvoyant – just for a bit of a laugh really. Never been massively convinced that clairvoyants & the like aren’t just a bunch of snake oil salespeople – however, perhaps not with this particular one… as she actually warned Ma Fisher that her youngest son eats too much cheese!
Friday 9th September 2011 - Rich has just been perusing the TV listings for the weekend – and is a bit confused to see that, at 8.30pm on BBC1, Neil Morrissey is apparently one of the panel guests on ‘A Question of Sport’! Since when has Neil Morrissey had anything to do with sport? Unless being a dirty shag rat & ruining Les Dennis’s marriage is classed as sport these days..!
Saturday 10th September 2011 -Rich is a bit peeved – but not particularly surprised! – that Forest have continued their ropey start to the season by losing again this afternoon… a 3-2 defeat away at Southampton. Good however to see the Reds’ recent signing Matt Derbyshire getting his first goal for the club. Has there ever been a more inappropriately-named Forest player though?
Sunday 11th September 2011 - Rich salutes his pal Max Newton, who today is taking part in an ultra-marathon – which involves him running all the way from London to Brighton… a not inconsiderable distance of 56 miles! Max’s insane antics are all to raise money for the British Red Cross – if anyone wants to sponsor him, then you can do so at www.justgiving.com/maxie
Monday 12th September 2011 - Rich is pleased to report that he survived his first day at work with his new class – what’s more, the morning got off to a lovely & unexpected start when he was presented with a bunch of flowers by one of the children! The boy in question is Eastern European of origin – apparently it’s traditiob in that part of the world for kids to give flowers to their new teacher on the first day of the new school year!
Tuesday 13th September 2011 - Rich & the wife, as part of their current endeavours to try & get fitter, went last night to a ‘boot camp’ session that runs regularly at one of their local parks! Not sure if a return visit will be made – if getting fit is to involve doing painful exercises in the mud & being shouted at by a jumped-up Hitler ‘drill sergeant’, then maybe the preferable option is to just stay slightly UNfit..!
Wednesday 14th September 2011 – Rich & his colleagues came into work today all braced for TV stardom, due to ITV news having announced that they were going to come & film a story for tonight’s news – what with Nottingham Academy now officially the biggest school in the UK. Alas though, the buggers ended up cancelling & going to film something else instead! The fickle world of news, eh..!
Thursday 15th September 2011 - Rich is dead proud of his brother Al for his virtuous endeavours this week. Having registered a while ago as a donor with the Anthony Nolan Trust, Al has been found to be a ‘match’ for a person who has leukaemia – & so this week has begun the process of donating stem cells needed for their treatment. Al is literally a lifesaver!
Friday 16th September 2011 - Rich is mostly amused this morning by an alternative definition that he was told about recently for the word ‘speedboat’! It’s certainly going to be hard from now not to snigger when an old episode of Bullseye comes on the telly, and the great Jim Bowen announces to the winning team that they’ve won themselves a “lovely speedboat”!
Saturday 17th September 2011 - Rich is embarrassed by how utterly crap Forest were this afternoon. Losing at home against Derby is always bad – but to do so after effectively being given a 1-0 head start & one-man advantage in the first few minutes is unforgivable. Anyone else think Forest should get rid of Steve McClaren & go grovelling to Billy Davies in the hope that he’ll take his old job back?
Sunday 18th September 2011 - Rich & Em are out for a pub lunch today with Em’s family – to celebrate the 80th birthday of the legend that is Em’s grandad! Very excited by the imminent arrival of the food – was distinctly less excited earlier today though to be woken at 7am by Em’s alarm going off… her having set it so she could be up to watch some rugby match or other. Bloody egg-chasing!
Monday 19th September 2011 - Rich wishes everyone a very happy – & not to mention swashbuckling – International ‘Talk Like a Pirate’ Day! To get into the spirit of this important annual event, the kids in Class 4A were given special permission this morning during register to respond to their name with a bloodthirsty “Yarr!” instead of the usual “Good morning Mr Fisher”!
Tuesday 20th September 2011 - Rich has always enjoyed the thought of new recruits to the military having ‘You’re In the Army Now’ by Status Quo blasted at them on their first day. Alas though, a recent discussion with someone who works in the armed forces has confirmed that the army induction process is, in actual fact, very much a Quo-free zone. ‘Tis always rubbish when your illusions are shattered..!
Wednesday 21st September 2011 - Rich has decided this year at work to help coach the school football team – & today was given the responsibility of picking the team for their first game of the season. & giving them the all-important pre-match pep talk! Pleased to report that the boys duly went out & thrashed their opponents 10-2! Steve McClaren, if you want any tips on how to do your job properly then feel free to get in touch..!
Thursday 22nd September 2011 - Rich & his colleagues had an eventful day at work today, & even got themselves on the local news – what with the official opening open of their new school building having taken place this morning. Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove was the guest of honour – & provided a genuine moment of awkward hilarity when he said good morning to the kids… only for it be quickly apparent that none of them actually knew who he was!
Friday 23rd September 2011 - Rich is sad about this week’s news of one of his favourite ever bands, R.E.M., having decided to call it a day. In happier news however, the new series of the genius TV show ‘An Idiot Abroad’ starts tonight on Sky One at 9pm. For any of you who haven’t seen it before then it’s well worth a look. Karl Pilkington is a comedy legend!
Saturday 24th September 2011 - Rich was recently given the mission of trying to get in touch with a band called Hard ‘n’ Phirm, who play amusing cover versions of Radiohead songs in a bluegrass style – as a friend of his who is getting married is desperate to have them play at his wedding (although he may or may not have ‘cleared’ this with his wife-to-be!) Alas though, the band have failed to respond to a succession of messages posted on their Facebook page. Anyone got any other ideas?
Sunday 25th September 2011 - Rich , as part of his internet-based research to track down a bluegrass Radiohead tribute band that one of his friends wants to have play at his wedding, stumbled upon a website yesterday that revealed the existence of an Elbow tribute act who, amusingly, go by the name of Arse. And yes, apparently they are convincing that punters can seldom tell their Arse from their Elbow!
Monday 26th September 2011 - Rich has been down to London today for a check-up with his eye doctor – & is very happy to say that he’s finally been given the all-clear to have the next bit of surgery required on his dodgy right peeper! This surgery looks set to happen sometime in January – & all being well, will confine blurry vision to the dustbin of history!
Tuesday 27th September 2011 - Rich , as part of one of the tests carried out yesterday by his eye doctor, had to have an orange dye squirted into both of his peepers. Perhaps inevitably, a by-product of this was ending up with eyelids stained bright orange – and despite ferocious scrubbing with wet wipes, the stuff is stubbornly refusing to completely come off! This is going to make for a VERY interesting look at work this morning..!
Wednesday 28th September 2011 - Rich had genuinely hoped – perhaps naively, in hindsight – that Forest’s 1-0 win at Watford on Saturday might be the start of normal service being resumed in the world of the mighty Reds. But oh no. Getting thrashed 5-1 at Burnley last night – & being 4-0 down at half-time – is surely yet another new lowpoint of the Steve McClaren regime. Any other Reds fans starting to genuinely worry that a relegation dogfight might be on the cards unless drastic changes are made at the City Ground?
Thursday 29th September 2011 - Rich apparently has yet another lookalike, having been told the other day that he looks a bit like the main bloke from ‘The Fades’… a new supernatural drama on the telly. This doppelganger joins a growing list of others that various people have pointed out over time – from X-Factor host Dermot O’Leary (flattering) to Premier League goalkeeper Shay Given (perhaps more realistic) to Nick chuffing Clegg (downright insulting!) Guess it’s kind of fun having a face that’s like a human game of ‘Guess Who’!
Friday 30th September 2011 - Rich is loving the unusally glorious late September weather that Nottingham has been blessed with over the last few days – & still can’t quite believe that him & the wife are actually going to have a barbeque this evening! What with it apparently being ‘British Cheese Week’ this week, it seemed only right to purchase some haloumi to fling onto the coals. Squeaky cheese!
