January 2012 – New Year in France, and a trip to the Lakeside World Darts!

Sunday 1st January 2012 - Rich & Em are now into day three of their break in France, and is pleased to report that they have been very much immersing themselves in French culture. Yes, New Year was seen in last night by watching Jools Holland’s Hootenanny on the telly… while tonight, plans are afoot to watch the cheery spectacle of Pat snuffing it in EastEnders!

 

Monday 2nd January 2012 - Rich nearly fell off his chair with shock at hearing the news that’s just wofted its way over to France from back home in Nottingham – namely the fact that Forest, after umpteen games without a goal, finally managed to stick the ball into the onion bag this afternoon in their match against Ipswich… & not only once, but THREE times! Well played Reds, & in particular Marcus Tudgay – not only for scoring two of the three goals, but also for bringing continued amusement to Forest fans through his amusing resemblence to the ‘Compare the Market’ meercat!

 

Tuesday 3rd January 2012 - Rich is enjoying another gloriously lazy day in France, with today’s exertions having consisted of no more than a leisurely walk around a lake, & a trip to Lidl to stock up on supplies! Anyone else find Lidl highly amusing? The ‘middle aisle’ is brilliantly random – at what other supermarket is there a genuine risk of coming out with a Spanish guitar & a boiler suit, after you only went in for bread & milk?!

 

Wednesday 4th January 2012 - Rich has just finished his second book of the France trip. Loving the rare luxury of actually having time to read! Favourite book of the holidays so far has been one written by a friend, Marcus Alton, called ‘The Day I Met Brian Clough’. As is perhaps evident from the title, it’s a collection of stories from hundreds of different people recalling memorable encounters with the legendary former Forest manager – including one from a certain R Fisher of Nottingham!

 

Thursday 5th January 2012 - Rich enjoyed a very pleasant trip yesterday to the town of Ax – a ski resort in the heart of the Pyrenees! Ended up getting the cable car all the way to the top of one of the snow-capped mountains – & after last summer’s punishing experience otherwise known as the Three Peaks Challenge, have come to the conclusion that cable cars are very much the way forward where getting up & down mountains is concerned..!

 

Friday 6th January 2012 - Rich & Em are off to the airport this morning ready to fly back to England, their week in France over. Big thanks to Linda & Peter for the tremendous hospitality! It’s always sad when holidays come to an end – however, the blow is softened considerably on this occasion by the prospect of a trip down to Frimley Green tomorrow to watch the opening day of the Lakeside arrows! Let’s! Play! Darts!

 

Saturday 7th January 2012 - Rich & Em, along with their friends Ed & Andy, are down at Frimley Green at the opening day of the Lakeside World Darts… in fancy dress, no less! If any of you are watching today’s tungsten-tossing action live on the BBC, then look out for the four idiots wielding an ‘R.I.P. Bob Holness’ placard – dressed, respectively, as a parrot, pirate, He-Man, & a Medieval jester!

 

Sunday 8th January 2012 - Rich & Em enjoyed a tremendous day at the Lakeside darts yesterday! Great too catching up with Ed & Andy. Andy is also a primary school teacher – & amusingly, he has a boy who goes to the school where he works who’s a ‘mini me’ dead ringer for Lionel Richie! Who can guess what Andy says to the child in question whenever they bump into each other around the school..?!

 

Monday 9th January 2012 - Rich is limbering up for the dreaded return to work today after the Christmas holidays, with all the enthusiasm of someone who’s on their way to the vet to have a much-loved family pet put down. Slightly cheered up however by the amusing news that someone has hacked into Derby County FC’s page on Wikipedia & changed their club nickname from ‘Rams’ to ‘Sheepshaggers’!

 

Tuesday 10th January 2012 - Rich suddenly has a bit of a recurring theme running through pretty much his entire life – with a change in personnel at work this week meaning that both of the other teachers that he works alongside in ‘Team Year Four’ are now share the same first name as his wife! All in all, it’s just one whole world of Emma at the moment! But it’s all good..!

 

Wednesday 11th January 2012 – Rich is nervously awaiting the next move of his brother Al – with whom he has embarked on what can only be described as a ‘shit ornament war’! This bitter conflict began when Al made his first visit a few weeks ago to the new Fisher Towers, & took great glee in handing over possibly the world’s tackiest ornament as a sort of joke housewarming gift! Recently gained revenge however on a trip to Al’s house, by smuggling in the ornament & sneakily leaving it in Al’s bathroom! Fully expecting it to mysteriously ‘reappear’ at Fisher Towers at some point soon though..!

 

Thursday 12th January 2012 - Rich is amused by all the jokes flying around at the moment about a certain TV chef and his much-talked-about moment of madness whilst out shopping earlier this week! Did you hear about Anthony Worrall Thompson getting caught shoplifting some cheese from Tesco? He should have done it more Caerphilly..!

 

Friday 13th January 2012 - Rich & Em are finally connected to the internet at their new house! May have to give a bit more consideration this time though as to what to call the wireless network. At the last house it was christened, without a great deal of thought, ‘Arsebiscuits’ – which became a bit embarrassing on occasions when it became necessary to call the provider to report a fault..!

 

Saturday 14th January 2012 - Rich is enduring yet another miserable afternoon of crap football courtesy of Nottingham Forest. That said, as a season ticket holder in the Upper Bridgford End, it’s been nice this afternoon to actually be allowed to sit in one’s own seat – unlike the Reds’ last home game in the FA Cup against Leicester, when the Upper Bridgford was given to visiting fans. Brought some Mr Muscle cleaning wipes to the match today to give Block U1, row A, seat 45 a good scrub – didn’t like the idea of it having been occupied by some six-fingered mouth-breather from a few junctions down the M1..!

 

Sunday 15th January 2012 - Rich & Em will shortly be off to Lakeside! Sadly though it’s merely the Lakeside restaurant on the A60 between Nottingham & Mansfield… as opposed to the Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green! Seems an appropriate place to go for Sunday lunch though on the day of the final of the BDO World Darts. Looking forward to watching the action later, & shall be very much rooting for all-round top bloke Tony O’Shea. Come on the Silverback!

 

Monday 16th January 2012 - Rich is not enjoying the bollock-shrivlingly cold weather that suddenly seems to have hit Nottingham over the last few days! That said, there are few more smug feelings in life than sitting back in the morning & watching your car’s heated windscreen make light work of the frost, while your neighbours struggle to get it off their cars armed with nothing more than scrapers & elbow grease..!

 

Tuesday 17th January 2012 - Rich has just heard the hilarious news that Hulk Hogan is returning to the WWE ring after 18 years – & what’s more, in Nottingham! It’s just been announced that the horseshoe-moustached wrestling legend is part of the line-up of stars who will be mincing their way through various bouts at Nottingham Arena next Thurday. Actually quite tempted to go!

 

Wednesday 18th January 2012 - Rich & Em will have been in their new house for a whole month tomorrow! Even in this short space of time, the move has already been life-changing beyond words. Had forgotten what it feels like to actually be able to relax in one’s own home, without the constant nagging worry that ASBO-type behaviour might be about to explode next-door at any time…

 

Thursday 19th January 2012 - Rich is currently at The Approach – which for those of you who don’t know it, is a bar in Nottingham – enjoying an ‘Evening with…’ event with Notts County manager Martin ‘Mad Dog’ Allen. The guy is clearly mad as a box of frogs but utterly hilarious & a captivating speaker. Would love him to come & manage Forest one day. Or even tomorrow!

 

Friday 20th January 2012 - Rich is quite excited about the fact that, a mere nine months after getting married, his wife is now finally able to change her name on her bank cards, driving licence etc! Had been advised not to do this until the house move was complete, as apparently a change of name can impact on credit scores. The big question is – should Emma change from being Emma Brown to Emma Fisher… or should she go all posh double-barrelled & revert to the mildly amusing-sounding Emma Brown-Fisher?!

 

Saturday 21st January 2012 - Rich had a lovely pub lunch up at Matlock Bath today, to celebrate the 40th birthday of his esteemed work colleague Simone Lineker! Was cool to spend a bit of time with the work crowd away from the oppressive pressure cooker of work. Also found an amazing sweet shop in Matlock selling lots of retro sweets. Anyone remember Parma Violets? Seem to recall a craze at primary school in the late 80s of pretending that they were drugs!

 

Sunday 22nd January 2012 - Rich & Em went to the cinema last night to see ‘The Iron Lady’ – the much-hyped new movie about the life of Margaret Thatcher. Regardless of how you feel about the milk snatcher, would say that the film is well worth seeing – with great performances from Meryl Streep as the milk snatcher herself, & Jim Broadbent as her husband Denis…

 

Monday 23rd January 2012 - Rich hereby salutes his mum & dad, who have given up a lot of time in recent weeks to wait in at the new Fisher Towers in order to take delivery of various bits of furniture & household appliances. Amusingly, the site manager for the housing development that the new Fisher Towers is part of seems to have taken a bit of a shine to Ma Fisher – the other week, he even brought her a present!

 

Tuesday 24th January 2012 - Rich has not been massively enjoying his job lately, & has been having regular daydreams about jacking in teaching to become a binman or something. However, whenever you find yourself feeling like this, the world of teaching always seems to throw up a little reminder of the fact that it’s actually a pretty amazing job. Yesterday, the reminder was being presented with a lovely homemade cupcake by a former student who is now in Year 6 – complete with ‘RF’ written on the top in icing!

 

Wednesday 25th January 2012 - Rich is zonked out in front of the telly recovering from his first migraine of 2012 – & can’t help noticing that every single advert on the telly at the mo seems to be soundtracked by ‘lift music’ versions of the indie rock classics of his youth. Current ad for Nivea moisturiser has a version of ‘Close To You’ by The Cure… while the one for Thomson holidays has a version of ‘Where Is My Mind?’ by The Pixies. Really quite enjoying playing ‘name that tune’ each time the ads come on..!

 

Thursday 26th Jamuary 2012 – Rich today had the one half-day that he gets each week at work where he doesn’t have to do any teaching – time designated to get all of the next week’s lessons planned – which meant an entire morning working in a little office to the dubious soundtrack of the Year 4 kids playing violins in the room next door! Thankfully they started learning a new song today – the last couple of weeks they’ve been doing ‘Everybody Dance Now’, and having to hear it repeatedly was beginning to feel like being a prisoner at Guantanamo Bay..!

 

Friday 27th January 2012 - Rich is muchly looking forward to 8pm this evening & the latest instalment of his new favourite TV programme – Channel 5′s ‘World’s Toughest Trucker’! The title of the show pretty much speaks for itself – it’s basically truck drivers from all over the world competing against each other in various truck-based challenges. Ten four, good buddies!

 

Saturday 28th January 2012 - Rich is highly amused to report that, a mere six months after winning their competition to find Nottingham’s scruffiest man, he is featured as a double-page spread in today’s edition of the Nottingham Post! The article is in the ‘Weekend’ magazine that comes with the paper. Slightly mortified to be looking such a chubster in the ‘before’ photo – was still carrying the extra stone in weight when it was taken gained through ten days of all-inclusive eating during honeymoon… honest!

 

Sunday 29th January 2012 - Rich yesterday spent a second successive Saturday with the work gang saluting a member of the team on the occasion of their 40th birthday – this time, the legend that is Fiona Maciel! The celebrations this time involved food, drink, fancy dress, & a private screening at Nottingham’s Broadway cinema of ‘Joy Luck Club’! Had never even heard of the film before but it was ace. It even had one of the main characters from ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ in it!

 

Monday 30^th January 2012 – Rich was really sad to hear the news yesterday of the death of telly & stage actor Colin Tarrant. Nationally, Tarrant was probably best-known for having starred in The Bill – in Nottingham however, he is remembered for an absolutely mesmerising performance as the great Brian Clough back in 2006 at a play put on at the Playhouse. RIP, fella…

 

Tuesday 31^st January 2012 – Rich went last night to visit the legend that is his Gran, & enjoyed an interesting foray into family history courtesy of some of her old photographs. One of the snaps showed Gran’s parents honeymooning in Skegness way back in the 1930s – with Gran’s dad dressed for the beach in an immaculate three-piece suit & a dapper bowler hat. Chap!

December 2011 – Christmas, moving house, Rolf Harris, and other capers…

Thursday 1st December 2011 - Rich has just awoken to the realisation that today is the first day of December – and would therefore like to take this opportunity to salute all of the thousands people out there who spent the last month diligently cultivating moustaches for the noble cause that is ‘Movember’! No doubt there are many men across the land who are very excited this morning at the prospect of finally being able to shave off their itchy face furniture..!

Friday 2nd December 2011 - Rich is starting to feel quite festive, having come on an outing this evening with some of his favourite people to Lincoln’s Christmas market! About to partake in a warming Gluhwein – just the thing you need when your day at work has been about as much fun as stapling angry scorpions to your own legs!

Saturday 3rd December 2011 - Rich just walked past his local branch of Greggs – & is sad to see that they appear to have stopped selling the starfish-shaped chocolate-covered biscuits that were previously a big favourite in the Fisher household. Was always a thing of great hilarity to be able to go into a mainstream high-street bakers and utter the immortal words “Can I have a chocolate starfish please?”

Sunday 4th December 2011 - Rich enjoyed an excellent evening up in Merseyside last night at a fancy dress housewarming party thrown by his great friends Paul & Betty! The dressing up theme was ‘horror movies’, & so decided to attend as evil henchman Malachi from ‘Children of the Corn’ – a pretty straightforward outfit that simply involved donning a long ginger wig & carrying a scyth. Most important outfit accessory though was actually the wife – who, game legend that she is, dutifully spent the evening dressed up as a corn on the cob!

Monday 5th December 2011 - Rich is looking forward tonight the latest instalment of his new favourite TV programme. No, not ‘Desperate Scousewives’ (please!) – rather, a series on The Travel Channel called ‘Trabant Trek’, which follows the adventures of a group of people attempting to drive all the way from Hungary to Cambodia in a fleet of three Trabants! Has brought back a lot of memories of the Mongol Rally..!

Tuesday 6th December 2011 - Rich is amazed by what a small world it is sometimes. Had tonight’s episode of EastEnders on the goggle box earlier this evening, and felt compelled whilst watching it to post on Facebook about what a truly sinister individual Doctor Yusef is. Turns out from subsequent comments on that post that the actor who plays Doctor Yusef is not only from Nottingham, but also attended Greenwood Dale Comprehensive..!

Wednesday 7th December 2011 - Rich read a really interesting article the other week in the men’s magazine ‘Esquire’ about Queso de Cabrales – a Spanish blue cheese that, according to legend, has been known to make people hallucinate! Was so intrigued by this claim that decided to order some of the cheese online… and excitingly, the delivery arrived yesterday! As it turns out, hallucinations have been lacking – though to be fair, that’s probably for the best! A bloody nice cheese though…

Thursday 8th December 2011 – Rich notices that mullet-headed rock legends Def Leppard are playing in Nottingham tonight at the Capital FM Arena! Went to uni years ago with someone who knows one of the traffic cops who attended the scene of drummer Rick Allen’s infamous car crash – & ended up being the person who had the grim job of having to retrieve Allen’s missing arm. Can anyone beat that as a rock’n'roll claim to fame?

Friday 9th December 2011 - Rich is is aching this morning from his weekly Thursday night game of five-a-side football – though is savouring every minute on the pitch at the moment in light of the news the other week that enforced retirement from playing is likely to be an imminent prospect. Was explaining this to some of the kids at work the other day, which resulted in a classic comment from one of the boys: “Never mind Mr Fisher, you could always take up playing bowls instead…”!

Saturday 10th December 2011 - Rich is watching last night’s episode ‘Come Dine With Me’, as filmed in Nottingham. You kind of hope that your home city will be well represented – alas though, these people are at best a bit dull & at worst quite unpleasant. Left feeling all the more baffled at the fact that Andrea Wells – brilliantly entertaining friend of the Fisher family & amazing party host – never got on the show a few years ago when she applied…

Sunday 11th December 2011 - Rich & the wife have just arrived at the Doncaster Dome, & are looking forward to an evening of live darts – following a spontaneous decision earlier earlier today to get tickets for the semi finals & final of the PDC Players’ Championship! If any of you are staying in & wanting some proper entertainment instead of the chuffin’ X-Factor final, then tonight’s action is being televised live on ITV4. Let’s! Play! Darts!

Monday 12th December 2011 - Rich is sad that an excellent weekend is over. Along with a very entertaining evening last night at the darts in Doncaster, a notable highlight was a trip into downtown Nottingham on Saturday afternoon to have a go on ‘The North Star’ – the 200-foot high fairground ride that’s the centrepiece of this year’s Christmas market. To someone who is an unabashed wuss when it comes to rides, it was a slightly terrifying experience – however, the views of the city from the top were amazing!

Tuesday 13th December 2011 - Rich has had a pretty good day at the office today! Got observed teaching a lesson this morning as part of annual performance review… & happily, it went pretty well. Suspect that this may all be down to the decision to psych oneself up during the journey to work this morning by playing ‘Eye of the Tiger’ in the car on full blast!

Wednesday 14th December 2011 - Rich is very excited to report that him & Emma are moving into a lovely new house next week! Actually accepted an offer for Fisher Towers way back in October… & then found the new place & agreed a price for it a few days after that. Have been deliberately keeping quiet about it all however over the last few weeks, out of a paranoid fear of jinxing everything! Finally exchanged contracts though yesterday – so it looks like the move is definitely happening..!

Thursday 15th December 2011 - Rich & various members of his family spanning three generations enjoyed a tremendous evening last night being entertained by a man who has long been a massive hero to them – yes, the great Rolf Harris! Rolf was in Nottingham performing live at the Royal Concert Hall – & as well as singing all of his hits, he also did a massive painting like the ones he used to do back in the day on Rolf’s Cartoon Club! Epic…

Friday 16th December 2011 - Rich is currently sat at a table in one of the hospitality suites at Nottingham Forest FC, enjoying his annual work Christmas do! Given how bad Forest have been this season, it really makes quite a lovely change to be able to come to the City Ground safe in the knowledge that you’re not going to have to sit through 90 minutes of really shit football. Anyone up for a drunken kickabout on the pitch later, Nottingham Academy folks?!

Saturday 17th December 2011 - Rich really should be packing boxes right now in readiness for Monday’s house move… but instead, is actually up in Manchester with some of his favourite people, enjoying Malaysian crisps & some top-draw live music courtesy of indie rock legends Half Man Half Biscuit! Drove up this afternoon across the Peak District – the hills looked amazing covered in snow…

Sunday 18th December 2011 - Rich had an excellent night last night watching the mighty Half Man Half Biscuit! Very entertaining journey back from the gig too – on the way back to the car, walked past a pub from which came the sound of a live band playing a thrash metal version of ‘Rasputin’ by Boney M. Random! Then stopped at Maccy Ds for food – amusing due to 90% certainty that the bloke serving was actually moon-faced posho Tom Chaplin from mid-noughties indie mediocrities Keane! How the mighty have fallen..!

Monday 19th December 2011 - Rich has just awoken from his final night’s sleep at the current Fisher Towers! Actually quite sad in many ways to be leaving the place after nine years – though certainly WON’T miss the noisy chav pondlife next door… and very excited to be finally on the way to the new house! Off shortly to collect hired white Transit van – via the newsagents of course, in order to buy the obligatory copy of the Daily Star to leave lying on the dashboard..!

Tuesday 20th December 2011 - Rich & Emma were very excited to wake up this morning in their beautiful new house! Moving day yesterday was inevitably hectic, & the constant drizzle didn’t particularly help matters. But it’s all done now! Unpacked boxes everywhere – but now have all the time in the world to sort them out…

Wednesday 21st December 2011 - Rich & the wife are about to embark on their second trip to Ikea in less than a week, in order to acquire more stuff for the new house! Hopefully there won’t be a repeat of what happened on the previous trip – when so much stuff was bought that, after loading the car, there was only actually room for one person to get in! Em drew the short straw & had to be abandoned at the retail park..!

Thursday 22nd December 2011 – Rich is counting the minutes until 3pm tomorrow, & the long-awaited end of what has felt like the longest school term in history! Much of the last few days has been spent getting the KS2 kids rehearsed for their carol concerts this afternoon and tomorrow morning – with this year’s songs including Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ & Boney M’s ‘Mary’s Boy Child’! The KS1 children meanwhile did a nativity play the other day – a performance which included, brilliantly, a Rolf Harris song!

Friday 23rd December 2011 - Rich fears his mind may be scarred forever by this week’s disturbing tabloid revelations about evergreen children’s entertainers The Krankies, & the fact that they are basically a pair of sex-crazed swingers! If any of you want to see the stories for yourself, just type ‘Krankies’ and ‘swinging’ into Google. Though it’s probably a good idea NOT to do this at work – it may lead to you being asked some VERY awkward questions if your employer screens internet usage..!

Saturday 24th December 2011 - Rich is overjoyed to have finally finished work for Christmas! Final day of term yesterday saw a respectable haul of presents from the children, though nothing quite as good as one of gifts received LAST Christmas from one of the kids – a pack of novelty socks, each one with a picture of one of the Muppets on it. A brilliantly backhanded way of telling your teacher that you think he’s a bit of a muppet!

Sunday 25th December 2011 - Rich wishes everyone a Merry Christmas! Just done present-opening with the wife, & pleased to report that Em was very pleased with her main gift – a trip to Frimley Green in January to see the opening day of the Lakeside World Darts Championship! Looking forward now to heading out later to meet the family for Christmas dinner at the Dog and Duck – a lovely pub out in the Nottinghamshire countryside…

Monday 26th December 2011 - Rich had a brilliant Christmas Day yesterday, with quality time spent with the family… & great generosity shown by the tubby fella in red with his gift offerings! Off later meanwhile to see the OTHER tubby fella in red – yes, Andy Reid & his hapless Nottingham Forest team-mates, who have a Boxing Day match against Peterborough. Sadly, if the Reds’ recent form is anything to go by, this afternoon’s 3pm kick-off is likely to be the point where all festive cheer is killed stone dead..!

Tuesday 27th December 2011 - Rich sadly proved to be correct in his prediction about yesterday’s visit to the City Ground – with Forest so poor that him & his brother stopped watching the match in the second half, in order to have their own game of mini table football! Big thanks to Cassie Wright, from whom the table football game was received as a Christmas present. It may have to be brought along to every Forest game from now – might be the only way of getting to see any goals..!

Wednesday 28th December 2011 - Rich & the wife had an excellent ‘second Christmas Day’ yesterday with Emma’s sister Laura & her husband James! One of the highlights of the day was watching Laura & James’ two-year-old boy Archie open his present from ‘Aunty Emma & Uncle Rishy’ – a ukelele, no less! The grooming for future rock stardom starts here..!

Thursday 29th December 2011 - Rich & Em partook last night in one of the obligatory rites of passage for any people who have just moved into a new house – yes, going for a drink in their new local pub! This will be lost on the non Nottingham-dwellers among you, but the boozer in question is the Traveller’s Rest on Mapperley Plains – & very nice it is too! As a seasonal special, they are currently selling mulled ginger beer wine!

Friday 30th December 2011 - Rich & the wife are up at silly o’clock & sat in the departure lounge at Liverpool’s John Lennon airport… & are muchly looking forward to a week in France visiting Emma’s mum & her husband Peter! A big ‘up yours’ though to the conniving scrotes at Ryanair – not only did apply a £24 surcharge for paying for the flights on a DEBIT card, they also just tried to scam an additional £40 for Em’s suitcase being 0.38kg over the 10kg limit!

Saturday 31st December 2011 - Rich , after a busy couple of weeks, is loving how chilled out everything is in rural France! And as is customary when New Year’s Eve arrives, have spent some time this morning reflecting on 2011. The year has certainly had its ups & downs – however, what with getting married & moving into a lovely new house, it has overall been a largely happy time. Lots to look forward to in 2012 too, what with tickets having been bagged for both the Olympics & the Stone Roses! Happy New Year, everyone!

November 2011 – A visit to the National Parrot Sanctuary, volunteering for Children in Need, and other stories…

Rich is sad about the death of the great Sir Jimmy Saville. A true small screen legend to anyone who went through their childhood in the 1980s. Sadly never got a reply from ‘Jim’ll’, but do have vivid memories of being about five or six & making a fake Jim’ll Fix It medal out of string & tinfoil, and trying to fool the kids who lived up the road into thinking it was real!

Wednesday 2nd November 2011 - Rich is amused this morning by what is probably the most bizarre regional news story in quite some time. This week is apparently British Sausage Week – and today, a load of butchers from Nottingham are going head to head to head in the hope of being crowned as the city’s premier sausage maker. Best of all though, this contest is being judged by, of all people, veteran glam-rock legend Noddy Holder! Random…

Thursday 3rd November 2011 - Rich has just been through the nail-biting experience of watching his school’s footy team play a cup game that ended up going to penalties! Happily though, the boys kept their cool & won the shoot-out 4-2. Two members of the team – the striker & the left-back – were recently talent scouted by Forest! Never let it be said that Forest never sign left-backs..!

Friday 4th November 2011 - Rich went to the cinema last night to see a new film called ‘Sound It Out’ – a documentary about daily life in a small independent record shop in a provincial town in the north-east of England. Very funny – well worth seeing if you get the chance. ‘Tis sad though that independent record shops are few & far between these days in today’s increasingly bland retail world…

Saturday 5th November 2011 - Rich spent his afternoon today admiring thousands of gorgeous birds, what with him & the wife having decided to come on a visit to one of his favourite places in whole world – the National Parrot Sanctuary in Lincolnshire! Staying over tonight, having decided to make a weekend away of it, at ‘The Parrot’s Nest’ – the sanctuary’s very own B&B! Looking forward to being woken up tomorrow by what will no doubt be a rather raucous dawn chorus..!

Sunday 6th November 2011 - Rich & Em muchly enjoyed their overnight stay last night at the National Parrot Sanctuary. Now just up the road in Skegness watching a spot of stock car racing at Skegness Stadium. Great entertainment! Particularly looking forward to the grand finale – the caravan destruction derby!

Monday 7th November 2011 – Rich has just discovered that Scroobius Pip is playing a gig in Nottingham tonight – a piece of information that has reminded him of the time at Glastonbury last year when him & Emma bumped into the beardy rapper… & he ended up asking for directions to a particular stage that he was due to perform on later that day! Still worry that might have unwittingly sent him the wrong way..!

Tuesday 8th November 2011 - Rich would like to take this opportunity to hail the eclectic brilliance of the cheese counter at Morrison’s! Latest purchases from this emporium of goodness have been Sticky Toffee Apple-flavoured cheese, & a cheese called ‘Drunken Goat’ – a Spanish goat’s cheese infused with a dash of Rioja! Inspired..!

Wednesday 9th November 2011 - Rich hereby salutes the legend that is his Grandmother – who will be celebrating her 80th birthday tomorrow! The old bird has had a tough time of it in recent years, what with the loss of Grandad to cancer… & also a myriad of problems with her own health. In spite of all this though, she remains an utter inspiration on lots of levels. Happy birthday, Granny!

Thursday 10th November 2011 - Rich & Em have crossed the divide over to the dark side tonight – in so far as the fact that they are currently at a bar in Derby enjoying ‘An evening with..’ event with mincing former footballer Robbie Savage! Some great stories so far. Compere has just announced that he will be soon be taking questions from the floor – anyone got any good suggestions?

Friday 11th November 2011 - Rich is considering marking Remembrance Day tonight by watching the classic film of ‘The Dambusters’. Still find the bravery of 617 squadron absolutely astonishing, flying huge planes just 60 feet above enemy ground in order to drop the famous bouncing bombs. Sadly, 53 members of the squadron never made it home…

Saturday 12th November 2011 - Rich isn’t quite sure how he’s going to fill the massive Karl Pilkington-shaped void he now has in his life, after Sky One’s ‘An Idiot Abroad 2′ finished last night! As for an overall highlight of the series, it has to be a toss-up between either Karl travelling on the Trans-Siberian railway, or Karl staying with a jungle tribe on an island in the South Pacific who worship Prince Philip!

Sunday 13th November 2011 - Rich & the wife went to the NEC in Birmingham yesterday to see ‘Top Gear Live’. The whole thing was basically like an episode of Top Gear, only performed live in a massive indoor arena – with Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond & James May pulling off a veritable smorgasbord of ridiculous car-related stunts. Very entertaining..!

Monday 14th November 2011 - Rich is well aware that he shouldn’t laugh really – but nevertheless, can’t help but be amused by the news over the weekend of the city of Derby having had its Christmas lights nicked! If any of you missed this story, you can check it out at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/?uk-england-derbyshire-15701380w?.bbc.co.uk/news/?uk-england-derbyshire-157013807

Tuesday 15th November 2011 - Rich is looking forward to heading into downtown Nottingham this evening for a few drinks with his great friend Ed Baker! Plan for the night is to check out some musical comedy in the form of a gig by Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer – a rapper who eshews the usual guns and bling in favour of tweed & a pipe! If any of you want to check out Mr B, a video of one of his finest songs can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/?watch?v=gx9PD8cSwSU

Wednesday 16th November 2011 - Rich, culture vulture that he is, is at the theatre this evening watching his mate Jason star as Randle Patrick McMurphy in a production of ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’! Surprisingly funny so far considering that it’s a play basically about a group of people who are mostly suffering from a range of mental health problems!

Thursday 17th November 2011 - Rich has just read a ridiculous article on a website about rock legend Lemmy, who is playing in Nottingham tonight with Motorhead. The article in question basically implies that Lemmy is a nazi sympathiser, seemingly on the sole basis that he collects World War Two regalia – & happens to have quite a lot of German stuff. Absolute tosh. Nevertheless, bit worried now about what people might read into the ‘Aircraft of the Luftwaffe’ tea towell that regularly gets used for drying the pots at Fisher Towers..!

Friday 18th November 2011 - Rich is looking forward to his annual shift of answering phones tonight for Children in Need. Hopefully lots of cash will be raised! Apparently the village of Oasby in Lincolnshire holds an annual ‘baboon night’ for Children in Need – which, for reasons unfathomable, involves locals throwing an effigy of a baboon over the roof of their local pub! This event last year inspired one of the greatest newspaper headlines ever in Oasby’s local rag – ‘Help toss baboon for charity’!

Saturday 19th November 2011 – Rich enjoyed an excellent evening last night answering phones for Children in Need! Randomly, the band who played at his & Emma’s wedding back in April turned up part of the way through the evening to provide a bit of live musical entertainment – ended up taking a quick break from the phones in order to join them for a impromptu rendition of ‘Ace of Spades’! Forget Wembley or Madison Square Gardens – few would-be rock stars can claim to having played at Boots The Chemists’ call centre..!

Sunday 20th November 2011 - Rich is feeling as rough as a badger’s ballbag, having been laid low for the last 24 hours by a particularly ferocious migraine – first one since July. Feel a bit gutted actually, as had decided after the last migraine to try giving up coffee in the hope that it would help prevent them… and after going four months without one, was beginning to believe that it may be just be working. Oh well – back to the drawing board..!

Monday 21st November 2011 - Rich has just read a depressing article in a newspaper predicting that Britain is about to be hit by another recession. Quoted in the article was the Governor of the Bank of England – some bloke called Mervyn King. Presumably a different Mervyn King to the professional darts player of the same name?! Though with their sharp mathematical minds, the Government could do worse than putting a load of professional darts players in charge of the country’s financial affairs…

Tuesday 22nd November 2011 - Rich suspects he must have done something recently to seriously irk the migraine gods. Went to bed last night fully intending to go back to work today, having just about recovered from the migraine of the weekend – only to wake up in the early hours of this morning to the sensation of ANOTHER bloody migraine taking hold! Have since just about managed to shake off this second one. Please no more though…

Wednesday 23rd November 2011 - Rich is intrigued by the latest shenanigans of one of his favourite bands, American mentalists The Flaming Lips, who have just released a song that’s 24 hours long. Have always admired the Lips & their continual attempts to experiment & push artistic boundaries – however, didn’t Bryan Adams manage a song that was 24 hours long a good 20 years ago with ‘Everything I Do’ (I Do It For You)’?

Thursday 24th November 2011 - Rich played his weekly game five-a-side football this evening, and enjoyed hearing tall tales in the bar afterwards from one of his fellow players, Richard Crouch – who successfully completed a charity trek the other week to Mount Everest Base Camp! Left feeling somewhat lazy though in comparison to Mr Crouch, having been to Nepal in 2007 and had a gander at the Himalayas in an altogether more leisurely manner by simply taking a 30-minute scenic flight from Kathmandu Airport (with the briliantly-named domestic airline Buddha Air, no less!)

Friday 25th November 2011 - Rich is amused to be such a source of fascination to his class! Today, two of the children suddenly began giggling uncontrollably during a session in the school’s computer room – & upon investigating, it turned out that they’d decided to type ‘Mr Fisher’ into ‘Google images’… & subsequently stumbled upon a veritable treasure trove of Mr Fishers of all colours and creeds!

Saturday 26th November 2011 - Rich & the wife went out to Spondon on the outskirts of Derby last night for a pub meal at ‘The Bank’… & were amused to discover that the menu there offers the option of a 48 ounce steak! What’s more, anyone who does order this beast of a meal & actually finishes it doesn’t have to pay! Anyone think they could take on this challenge? Would’ve been well up for it, but sadly they don’t do a Quorn version of the steak..!

Sunday 27th November 2011 - Rich has been out to deepest darkest Leicestershire countryside today for a highly enjoyable visit to see his Aunt Barbara! Much fun in particular was had playing with the four-legged ball of energy that is Digby, Barbara’s giant labradoodle -including the random amusing discovery that ‘Diggers’ goes mental whenever he hears the intro to ‘Let’s Stick Together’ by Bryan Ferry!

Monday 28th November 2011 - Rich s sat watching the ‘Inside Out’ programme about Rampton Hospital in Nottinghamshire, which is currently being shown on BBC1 – or at least the East Midlands’ version of BBC1. Prior to going into teaching, spent a couple of years working for the part of the NHS that runs Rampton – which is one of England’s three high-secure psychiatric hospitals. A morbidly fascinating place…

Tuesday 29th November 2011 - Rich has not had the best of days today, starting with this afternoon’s news that the ongoing problem with his right eye is now likely to require a cornea transplant – something that will mean having to give up playing football. “Oh well, never mind, hopefully Forest will make everything better by beating Leeds tonight,” you go away thinking. Should really know better by now than to pin any hopes on the not-so-mighty Reds..!

Wednesday 30th November2011 - Rich & the wife presented a united marital front today, by marching together through Nottingham along with thousands of others to protest against the Government’s plans to shaft the public sector workforce. At one point a group of people doing the march were shouting “What do we want? Cameron out! When do we want it? Now!” However, through the constant repetition, the ‘Cameron out’ bit of the chant started to sound more like ‘Camembert’! Very amusing..!

October 2011 – a busy month of many shenanigans including a weekend away in a campervan!

Saturday 1st October 2011 - Rich & Em, having both been a bit ‘all work & no play’ lately, have mosied up to Manchester this afternoon for a night out! Morbidly though, the trip has felt a bit like a Harold Shipman murder tour so far – what with the journey to the motorway having begun by driving through the part of Nottingham where Shippers grew up, & then checking in on arrival in Manchester at a hotel in the suburb of Hyde… which is where the infamous Dr Death’s surgery was!

Sunday 2nd October 2011 - Rich & Em had an amazing night out in Manchester last night! Had an excellent curry on the ‘curry mile’, got to hold the European Cup – which a bloke randomly had in a pub – and ended the night in a club where the music was nothing but the guilty pleasure otherwise known as powerballads! Also saw an absolutely brilliant Jesus preacher shouting at passers by! Any of the Nottingham dwellers among you remember the angry old guy who used to spread the word of The Lord at the top of Lister Gate?

Monday 3rd October 2011 - Rich is not displeased about Steve McClaren’s decision to quit as Forest manager yesterday, following yet another miserable defeat for the Reds. In many ways it seems hasty for a manager to go after just ten league games in charge of a club – sadly though, it was clear in this case that it simply wasn’t working. Goodness knows who Forest will get in to do the job next – maybe it’s time to finally promote the legend that is Terry the Kitman?!

Tuesday 4th October 2011 - Rich is slightly alarmed that the mighty Forest are being linked with a potential new manager who’s actually younger than he is – namely, 31-year-old MK Dons boss Karl Robinson. Sheesh, it makes you feel depressingly old when you reach the stage in life when your team’s PLAYERS start getting youner than you – never mind the bloody MANAGER! In other news meanwhile on Forest’s search for a new manager, SkyBet, brilliantly, are actually offering odds of 100-1 on Terry the Kitman getting the job!

Wednesday 5th October 2011 - Rich has just been on a trip to an avian specialist vet with his parrot – a precautionary measure, owing to Doris having noticably lost a fair few feathers recently around her neck area. Happily, the vet concluded that it was nothing to worry about. Was actually highly amusing watching a thoroughly-unimpressed Doris having her heartbeat checked with a stethascope!

Thursday 6th October 2011 - Rich & Em have been out tonight to a gig – Noah & the Whale, who were playing at the legendary Nottingham sweatpit known as Rock City. A really good show. Popped into the Rescue Rooms next door before the gig though to check out the place’s new refurb – and disappointingly, they’ve got rid of all the shelves of cheesy LPs that you used to be allowed to sift through. A sad loss…

Friday 7th October 2011 - Rich has had a horribly stressful day at work – not least a member of his class suddenly having a massive nosebleed whilst the kids were working in the computer room… a room where there’s no access to any running water or paper towels. Teaching can often be a very unpredictable job – one thing you DON’T ever expect to find yourself doing though is whipping off your own tie & using it to stem a small river of blood from a child’s nostril..!

Saturday 8th October 2011 - Rich & the wife have just been for breakfast at the cafe in their local Morrison’s supermarket – a place that has enjoyed cult status in the Fisher household ever since the discovery that one of the blokes who works there is amusingly called Jesse Hanks (or at least that’s what it says on his name badge!) Scrambled eggs on toast taste just that little bit better when they’re brought to your table by a man with a name that suggests he possibly moonlights as a member of Garth Brooks’ backing band..!

Sunday 9th October 2011 - Rich & the wife spent their Saturday evening last night babysitting Archie – Emma’s sister’s two-and-a-bit-year-old little boy! Intriguingly, Arch seemed quite captivated by ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ on the telly. Who knows, maybe stardom awaits for the boy as the next Michael Flatley?! Talking of ‘Strictly..’, did anyone else see Robbie Savage do his turn? Hats off to the guy for managing to look an even bigger wally with a brolly than Steve McClaren..!

Monday 10th October 2011 - Rich has been poorly today – however, is currently being cheered up by a morbidly compelling new TV series raking over one of the bitterest splits in the history of pop. No, not the parting of the ways of the the Beatles or the Stone Roses – rather, that of late-90s cheese-merchants Steps! If any of you haven’t stumbled across it yet, then ‘Steps: The Reunion’ on the Sky Living channel is an excellent slice of trashy, guilty pleasure TV…

Tuesday 11th October 2011 -Rich, though still a tiny bit disappointed that his song ‘The A Team’ isn’t actually about Howling Mad Murdoch and co., is actually greatly impressed by the recently-released debut album by Ed Sheeran. The singer-songwriter actually played in Nottingham last night – would’ve liked to have gone to see him, but unfortunately continuing man flu put paid to any such plans…

Wednesday 12th October 2011 - Rich is starting to feel just about human again after three days of horrendous man flu – although these health-based woes pale in significance to those of the wife… who was rushed into hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis, after having spent the previous day constantly vomiting & experiencing excruciating tummy pains. Fortunately it turned out to NOT be appendicitis, & Em is now okay. All in all though, it’s not been one of the better weeks in the world of Fisher…

Thursday 13th October 2011 - Rich is very happy to say that his birthday has got off to an excellent start – with presents from his family including a ticket to see Rolf Harris, a surprise weekend away… and, of all things, a ukelele! A sort of bonus present too from Nottingham Forest, what with the excellent news that the club have persuaded legendary former player & manager Frank Clark to return to the club as chairman. Just the small matter now of appointing a manager & yet another new era for Forest can finally get underway in earnest…

Friday 14th October 2011 - Rich celebrated his birthday last night by having a Threesome! Hasten to add though that ‘Threesome’ was the name of one of a number of fine ales sampled during a highly enjoyable evening spent to the Nottingham Beer Festival! Big thanks by the way to everyone for your kind birthday messages yesterday…

Saturday 15th October 2011 - Rich is glum that feckless Forest lost again this afternoon – away at Coventry – but is chuffed to have had the honour earlier today of meeting John Robertson, legendary left-winger from the Reds’ all-conquering team of the late 70s. ‘Robbo’ was at the Nottingham branch of Waterstones, signing copies of his newly-released autobiography. Should be a good read…

Sunday 16th October 2011 - Rich has enjoyed this weekend muchly. Along with yesterday afternoon’s excitement of getting to meet Forest legend John Robertson, Friday night saw a flying visit up to Leeds to see a good friend star in a brilliantly funny play… while last night also involved some excellent live entertainment. Don’t really want to say any more though on here about the latter, as it’s too embarrassing!

Monday 17th October 2011 - Rich impressed his class today – or at least the boys! – by presenting them with a signed handwritten message, addressed to them, from Nottingham Forest legend John Robertson! Robbo kindly agreed to scribble a few words at the book signing he did in Nottingham on Saturday – “To Class 4A, good luck & best wishes, John Robertson.” Though in hindsight, “To Class 4A, start bloody behaving! John Robertson” might have been more appropriate..!

Tuesday 18th October 2011 - Rich is loving today! First of all, music legends the Stone Roses announce this afternoon that they are reforming for some live shows in 2012! And then, as if that wasn’t exciting enough, Forest have looked utterly rejuvinated this evening in their first game under new manager Steve Cotterill, and all being well look set to bag their first home win of the season against high-flying Middlesbrough!

Wednesday 19th October 2011 - Rich is on his way up to the sleepy suburban corner of Nottingham otherwise known as Mapperley, in order to visit his Ma & Dad. Though having said that, the place was anything but sleepy & suburban last week, having made national news headlines after police discovered a volatile substance at somebodyls house – resulting in the whole area being sealed off & the national bomb squad being called in! Hopefully all will be back to normal in Mapperley this evening..!

Thursday 20th October 2011 - Rich has just been catching up with today’s big news from Libya. Now he’s dead, hopefully the media will start referring to Gaddafi by his full name of Colin, instead of the uncomfortably informal ‘Col’! All in all though, it’s unfortunate that such a high profile death has overshadowed the sad news from Nottinghamshire’s White Post Farm, where Darren The Waving Goat also passed away this week…

Friday 21st October 2011 - Rich is a man who who has always enjoyed a random celebrity encounter – and yesterday managed to have not one but three! Over the course of the day, in three completely separate locations, managed to meet: 1) Nottingham Forest defender Wes Morgan; 2) Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi; & 3) Darts legend Bobby George! Meeting the latter was particularly amusing – not least getting to discuss his recent appearance on ‘Celebrity Come Dine With Me’!

Saturday 22nd October 2011 - Rich is very excited & already counting the days until Saturday June 30th 2012, having been successful yesterday in the mad scramble to get tickets to see the reformed Stone Roses! Why is it though that tickets always get put on sale for these sorts of things – in this case, 9.30am on a weekday morning – at a time when the majority of the population are likely to be at bloody work?

Sunday 23rd October 2011 - Rich & Em are on their way to George Best Airport in Belfast, ready to fly home after an excellent couple of days over in County Antrim visiting their great friends Zippy & Steph. Highlights have included a hurling match, the Giant’s Causeway, copious amounts of booze, an amusing prank involving some Linda McCartney sausages, & getting to nose around an artspace owned by legendary art terrorist Bill Drummond!

Monday 24th October 2011 - Rich is loving the fact that he’s off work this week for the school half-term, & has just been for an enjoyable mooch around downtown Nottingham. Went to see an exhibition of paintings by leather-faced Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood! Also went to rubberneck at the ‘Occupy Notts’ hippies who have been camped out in the middle of the city centre for the last week. Fair play to them!

Tuesday 25th October 2011 - Rich is highly amused by reports in the national press today, confirming that cheese is now the most frequently shoplifted commodity in the UK! Apparently 4% of all the cheese that gets put out on supermarket shelves ends up getting robbed – & Tesco are reportedly considering putting security tags on more expensive ones & having extra security on the dairy aisle!

Wednesday 26th October 2011 - Rich, being a teacher on his half-term break, is enjoying having a week where he doesn’t have to think too much about work – although reminders are never too far away. Indeed, you suspect the powers might be trying to tell you to get on with that huge stack of marking you’ve been avoiding when you go for a drive around Nottingham, & end up stuck in traffic behind a bus with a massive advert on the back for the very bloody school where you work..!

Thursday 27th October 2011 - Rich had some not-so-great news yesterday about his dodgy right eye. A month or so ago, it was looking like the surgery done in 2010 had succeeded in stabilising the vision – however, subsequent scans are now suggesting that that isn’t the case… and that it’s actually continuing to deteriorate. Now being referred to a different surgeon. The saga goes on..!

Friday 28th October 2011 - Rich is immensely proud to report that he has won a competition that Emma entered him into – a competition that was run in the local paper to find Nottingham’s Scruffiest Man! Went yesterday to enjoy the winner’s prize – a full style makeover, including a made-to-measure Geoff Banks suit! Amusingly, the full story with cheesy ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos is due to appear in the paper sometime in the next few weeks..!

Saturday 29th October 2011 - Rich feels a bit like he’s in a episode of Scooby Doo, what with him & Emma having embarked on yesterday on a weekend of camping down in the beautiful Cotswolds – in a hired vintage VW campervan! Top birthday present from the wife, it must be said. Staying as well on a farm that, as it turns out, is owned by a minor TV personality!

Sunday 30th October 2011 - Rich is sad that today is his & Emma’s last day of living the hippy dream in Monty the VW campervan. Been a great weekend though! Today has involved a mooch around Oxford, & an ace visit to ‘Crocodiles of the World’ – the croc zoo as featured in the recent Channel 5 series ‘Croc Man’. Even got to meet the Croc Man himself!

Monday 31st October 2011 - Rich is back at work today, the half-term break now sadly over. Just arrived at the coalface to find that a large amount of the old school building – as vacated back in July – has now been knocked down. Quite sad really. Hopefully the fox that lived on the site was smart enough to suss out what was happening and managed to leg it before the wrecking balls came in…

September 2011 – back to work after the summer holidays, and Nottingham Forest continue their woeful start to the season…

Thursday 1st September 2011 - Rich is looking forward to this evening’s instalment of a programme that’s currently his favourite thing on TV – namely, Channel 5′s ‘Croc Man’! For anyone who’s not seen it, ‘Croc Man’ is a series that follows a bloke down in Oxfordshire & his attempts to set up the UK’s first crocodile zoo. Oh, and brilliantly, it’s narrated by none other than EastEnders legend John ‘Nick Cotton’ Altman!

Friday 2nd September 2011 - Rich & Em went to one of those ‘An evening with…’ dos last night, where retired footy players trot out the war stories from their careers – with Mark Crossley in the spotlight on this occasion. Some great tales from the former Forest keeper – not least the revelation that he lamped Pierre Van Hooijdonk when he returned from his infamous three-month strike back in the late-1990s…

Saturday 3rd September 2011 - Rich is wondering what to do with himself today, what with the mighty Forest not having a game due to the ‘international break’. Quite tempted to fill the void by making a trip down to the Chesterfield Arms – a pub a couple of miles down the road, in the salubrious corner of Nottingham they called Gedling – & have a punt on their legendary weekly meat raffle!

Sunday 4th September 2011 - Rich & the wife, driven by post-summer skintness, decided to get up insanely early this morning in order to flog some of their clutter! If any of the Nottingham-dwellers among you fancy coming to have a look at the Fisher Emporium of Shite, then head down to Calverton car boot sale! Unbelievably, ‘Phil Collins: The Singles Collection’ on VHS has as of yet failed to sell..!

Monday 5th September 2011 - Rich heads back to work today – the school summer holidays now officially over. At Nottingham Academy, the kids don’t actually start back until next Monday – this week though, there is the small matter of officially moving in to a brand new school building… and transforming it from the blank canvass it is at the moment into a veritable temple of learning!

Tuesday 6th September 2011 - Rich’s boss gave a sort of motivational speech at work today, in which she described all her staff as ‘The A Team’! Needless to say, a massive compliment! Today, still wanted by the Government, the Nottingham Academy primary staff survive as soldiers of education. If you have a problem, & if no-one else can help, & if you can find them… maybe YOU can hire The A Team!

Wednesday 7th September 2011 - Rich watched the live telly coverage last night of the England footy team’s 1-0 win against Wales, & is still amused by Chris Gunter’s bid for glory during the first half! With the score still 0-0, the Forest & Wales right-back won the ball on the halfway line, went charging forward, suddenly found himself within shooting distance of the England goal, naturally decided to have a pop… and proceeded to scuff the ball about 20 yards wide! Oh well, bad luck Gunts!

Thursday 8th September 2011 - Rich had an amusing conversation with his Mum yesterday. Ma Fisher & some of her friends recently decided to go & visit a clairvoyant – just for a bit of a laugh really. Never been massively convinced that clairvoyants & the like aren’t just a bunch of snake oil salespeople – however, perhaps not with this particular one… as she actually warned Ma Fisher that her youngest son eats too much cheese!

Friday 9th September 2011 - Rich has just been perusing the TV listings for the weekend – and is a bit confused to see that, at 8.30pm on BBC1, Neil Morrissey is apparently one of the panel guests on ‘A Question of Sport’! Since when has Neil Morrissey had anything to do with sport? Unless being a dirty shag rat & ruining Les Dennis’s marriage is classed as sport these days..!

Saturday 10th September 2011 -Rich is a bit peeved – but not particularly surprised! – that Forest have continued their ropey start to the season by losing again this afternoon… a 3-2 defeat away at Southampton. Good however to see the Reds’ recent signing Matt Derbyshire getting his first goal for the club. Has there ever been a more inappropriately-named Forest player though?

Sunday 11th September 2011 - Rich salutes his pal Max Newton, who today is taking part in an ultra-marathon – which involves him running all the way from London to Brighton… a not inconsiderable distance of 56 miles! Max’s insane antics are all to raise money for the British Red Cross – if anyone wants to sponsor him, then you can do so at www.justgiving.com/maxie

Monday 12th September 2011 - Rich is pleased to report that he survived his first day at work with his new class – what’s more, the morning got off to a lovely & unexpected start when he was presented with a bunch of flowers by one of the children! The boy in question is Eastern European of origin – apparently it’s traditiob in that part of the world for kids to give flowers to their new teacher on the first day of the new school year!

Tuesday 13th September 2011 - Rich & the wife, as part of their current endeavours to try & get fitter, went last night to a ‘boot camp’ session that runs regularly at one of their local parks! Not sure if a return visit will be made – if getting fit is to involve doing painful exercises in the mud & being shouted at by a jumped-up Hitler ‘drill sergeant’, then maybe the preferable option is to just stay slightly UNfit..!

Wednesday 14th September 2011 – Rich & his colleagues came into work today all braced for TV stardom, due to ITV news having announced that they were going to come & film a story for tonight’s news – what with Nottingham Academy now officially the biggest school in the UK. Alas though, the buggers ended up cancelling & going to film something else instead! The fickle world of news, eh..!

Thursday 15th September 2011 - Rich is dead proud of his brother Al for his virtuous endeavours this week. Having registered a while ago as a donor with the Anthony Nolan Trust, Al has been found to be a ‘match’ for a person who has leukaemia – & so this week has begun the process of donating stem cells needed for their treatment. Al is literally a lifesaver!

Friday 16th September 2011 - Rich is mostly amused this morning by an alternative definition that he was told about recently for the word ‘speedboat’! It’s certainly going to be hard from now not to snigger when an old episode of Bullseye comes on the telly, and the great Jim Bowen announces to the winning team that they’ve won themselves a “lovely speedboat”!

Saturday 17th September 2011 - Rich is embarrassed by how utterly crap Forest were this afternoon. Losing at home against Derby is always bad – but to do so after effectively being given a 1-0 head start & one-man advantage in the first few minutes is unforgivable. Anyone else think Forest should get rid of Steve McClaren & go grovelling to Billy Davies in the hope that he’ll take his old job back?

Sunday 18th September 2011 - Rich & Em are out for a pub lunch today with Em’s family – to celebrate the 80th birthday of the legend that is Em’s grandad! Very excited by the imminent arrival of the food – was distinctly less excited earlier today though to be woken at 7am by Em’s alarm going off… her having set it so she could be up to watch some rugby match or other. Bloody egg-chasing!

Monday 19th September 2011 - Rich wishes everyone a very happy – & not to mention swashbuckling – International ‘Talk Like a Pirate’ Day! To get into the spirit of this important annual event, the kids in Class 4A were given special permission this morning during register to respond to their name with a bloodthirsty “Yarr!” instead of the usual “Good morning Mr Fisher”!

Tuesday 20th September 2011 - Rich has always enjoyed the thought of new recruits to the military having ‘You’re In the Army Now’ by Status Quo blasted at them on their first day. Alas though, a recent discussion with someone who works in the armed forces has confirmed that the army induction process is, in actual fact, very much a Quo-free zone. ‘Tis always rubbish when your illusions are shattered..!

Wednesday 21st September 2011 - Rich has decided this year at work to help coach the school football team – & today was given the responsibility of picking the team for their first game of the season. & giving them the all-important pre-match pep talk! Pleased to report that the boys duly went out & thrashed their opponents 10-2! Steve McClaren, if you want any tips on how to do your job properly then feel free to get in touch..!

Thursday 22nd September 2011 - Rich & his colleagues had an eventful day at work today, & even got themselves on the local news – what with the official opening open of their new school building having taken place this morning. Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove was the guest of honour – & provided a genuine moment of awkward hilarity when he said good morning to the kids… only for it be quickly apparent that none of them actually knew who he was!

Friday 23rd September 2011 - Rich is sad about this week’s news of one of his favourite ever bands, R.E.M., having decided to call it a day. In happier news however, the new series of the genius TV show ‘An Idiot Abroad’ starts tonight on Sky One at 9pm. For any of you who haven’t seen it before then it’s well worth a look. Karl Pilkington is a comedy legend!

Saturday 24th September 2011 - Rich was recently given the mission of trying to get in touch with a band called Hard ‘n’ Phirm, who play amusing cover versions of Radiohead songs in a bluegrass style – as a friend of his who is getting married is desperate to have them play at his wedding (although he may or may not have ‘cleared’ this with his wife-to-be!) Alas though, the band have failed to respond to a succession of messages posted on their Facebook page. Anyone got any other ideas?

Sunday 25th September 2011 - Rich , as part of his internet-based research to track down a bluegrass Radiohead tribute band that one of his friends wants to have play at his wedding, stumbled upon a website yesterday that revealed the existence of an Elbow tribute act who, amusingly, go by the name of Arse. And yes, apparently they are convincing that punters can seldom tell their Arse from their Elbow!

Monday 26th September 2011 - Rich has been down to London today for a check-up with his eye doctor – & is very happy to say that he’s finally been given the all-clear to have the next bit of surgery required on his dodgy right peeper! This surgery looks set to happen sometime in January – & all being well, will confine blurry vision to the dustbin of history!

Tuesday 27th September 2011 - Rich , as part of one of the tests carried out yesterday by his eye doctor, had to have an orange dye squirted into both of his peepers. Perhaps inevitably, a by-product of this was ending up with eyelids stained bright orange – and despite ferocious scrubbing with wet wipes, the stuff is stubbornly refusing to completely come off! This is going to make for a VERY interesting look at work this morning..!

Wednesday 28th September 2011 - Rich had genuinely hoped – perhaps naively, in hindsight – that Forest’s 1-0 win at Watford on Saturday might be the start of normal service being resumed in the world of the mighty Reds. But oh no. Getting thrashed 5-1 at Burnley last night – & being 4-0 down at half-time – is surely yet another new lowpoint of the Steve McClaren regime. Any other Reds fans starting to genuinely worry that a relegation dogfight might be on the cards unless drastic changes are made at the City Ground?

Thursday 29th September 2011 - Rich apparently has yet another lookalike, having been told the other day that he looks a bit like the main bloke from ‘The Fades’… a new supernatural drama on the telly. This doppelganger joins a growing list of others that various people have pointed out over time – from X-Factor host Dermot O’Leary (flattering) to Premier League goalkeeper Shay Given (perhaps more realistic) to Nick chuffing Clegg (downright insulting!) Guess it’s kind of fun having a face that’s like a human game of ‘Guess Who’!

Friday 30th September 2011 - Rich is loving the unusally glorious late September weather that Nottingham has been blessed with over the last few days – & still can’t quite believe that him & the wife are actually going to have a barbeque this evening! What with it apparently being ‘British Cheese Week’ this week, it seemed only right to purchase some haloumi to fling onto the coals. Squeaky cheese!